Dreading turning 25

This isn’t about running.  Shocking I know, it’s a bit more personal than that.  My 25^th birthday is quickly approaching and I’m kind of embarrassed to say that I’m struggling with that.  I know the majority of my readers are older and laughing at this but I think it’s true.  It has taken me a few weeks to come to this conclusion but I think it’s the only thing to explain how I’ve been feeling lately. 

 A little background on me for those of you who are new followers.  I’m a 3^rd year grad student working towards my doctorate in Audiology.  I love it. It’s something I truly have a passion for, I really enjoy clinic and don’t mind class that much.  However, recently I think I’ve been having mini emotional breakdowns.

Not too long ago I was in clinic with an elderly man who came in for a routine appointment.  I love the elderly, they’re my favorites because they are so full of stories.  I love the small talk parts of the appointments and the opportunity to learn more about their lives that they’ve lived.  Every single person over the age of 65 will tell you their life story if you let them hahah and some are interesting to say the least.  Well this man lost his wife not too long ago and naturally talked about her during the appointment.  Which is fine and normally I can control my emotions about such things.  However, when he started talking about how much he missed her and how great she was, my eyes started to burn.  I didn’t want to cry in front of him because I felt like that would be unprofessional of me.  I would just occasionally look away and pull myself together.  There were other people in the room with us so this wasn’t too awkward and I didn’t think that noticeable.  I was doing a good job smiling and listening, because these were happy memories he was sharing.  However, when he started talking directly towards me and the other student in the room about the all the great things they used to do together and the importance of marrying for love, I lost it.  The tears just flowed.  I couldn’t help it.  The old man didn’t seem to notice or pay it much mind but I could tell it was making the other student uncomfortable.  At one point he handed me a box of tissues and said “oh allergies are bad this time of year” haha leave it to a guy to try and cover it up like that.  At the end of the appointment the man came up to me and apologized for making me cry and said he could tell I’m a very compassionate young woman.  I can’t believe I cried during that appointment…I’m usually so good with holding it together.  I didn’t cry to a single war story at the VA but I couldn’t hold back the tears at this appointment.

That was crying incident #1 and here is incident #2.  On weekends, I screen the hearing of the newborns at the hospital.  I look forward to it.  Well this weekend while I was screening a newborn baby girl her 2 big brothers walked in the room.  They were probably around the ages of 3 and 5.  You could tell by just looking at them that they were bursting with pride and excitement to be big brothers.  They asked me what I was doing so I told them that I was making sure their little sister could hear them when they talk to her but we have to be very quiet to find out.  The five year-old then whispered back in the most innocent, gentle way “ok, but don’t hurt our little girl.”  It was the cutest, sweetest thing ever and usually I’d probably laugh a little at that.  But this time as I smiled in his direction my eyes started to burn again.  I thought “oh no, I’m not doing this again”.  I could feel tears coming but I quickly looked down and pulled myself together.  That wasn’t something to cry about.

So, why am I having to fight off the burning eyes so much?  I think it’s because I’m getting older and subconsciously want to experience these things in life.  I’m turning 25 in a month, so naturally when I look around I see a lot of my friends getting married and starting a family.  I’ve noticed the increase in engagements and marriages the past year or so but it’s never been something I’d get emotional about. I’ve been content with being what feels like a lifetime student.  But now I’m getting restless.  I just want to be done and to start my life. And the worst part is, is that I feel guilty about feeling this way.  I know I shouldn’t wish away a season of life and that I’m in the right place right now but I want to feel like I’m in the right place.  I think turning 25 makes me feel like the pressure is on.  This might be the first birthday I dread if I don’t hurry and change my mindset.  Lets pause time so I can get my mess together haha

A must try: ENERGYbits!

ENERGYbits

What are they?  Good question.  When I first heard of them I had no clue what they were or what they used for.  Now they seem to be the popular craze in the running world and I understand why.  They work.  ENERGYbits are 100% pure spirulina algae that has 40 nutrients and 64% protein in a single serving.  They may look like pill but shouldn’t confused as such because they are actually bits algae (food).  An interesting fact, one gram of algae has the nutitional equivalent of 1,000 grams of fruits and vegetables.   

Here is what they look like:

A serving size is 30-40 bits.  I was a bit nervous about this at first because it seemed like a lot of food to swallow.  I’m not a huge fan of taking anything in pill form.  However, this was manageable.  I was able to swallow 4 at a time while eating my breakfast with no problem.  I also think by having to take so many it made me consume more water than what I’d normally drink which is a good thing before a warm summer run.  You can chew these but they have a bit of a fishy odor kind of like fish food or Omega vitamins if you’re used to taking those.  I’m not a fan of seafood so I chose to swallow them. 

As many of you know, I’ve been having some IT band issues the past few weeks so I decided to limit my run to 3 miles.  I wasn’t sure what kind of benefit I’d notice from the bits, if any at all, going on such a short run.  To my surprise, even in a short run the effect of ENERGYbits was noticeable.  I felt energized the entire run and even felt like I could keep going after my 3 miles were up.  I didn’t go on only because I didn’t want to risk irritating my IT band.  (It was a pain free run).  I typically train at a 1:30/:30 run/walk interval for the first 1.5miles and then switch to 1/:30s.  However, I was able to keep up with the 1:30/:30 interval the entire time and even skipped a few because I wasn’t paying attention to the beeper.  I think what I was most happy about with this run is that I had NEGATIVE splits! This never happens for me.  No matter the distance I always struggle/slow down with the last bit.  I felt like for this run I was speeding up and just getting started.  Awesome!

I think what I most like about ENERGYbits is the nutrients it provides.  I’m a plain eater with a terrible diet.  I’ve recently become more conscious about this and trying to improve.  My last big race I felt terrible for pretty much the entire thing because of poor nutrition.  I just started tracking my meals with MyFitnessPal just to see how much protein and other nutrients I’m getting each day.  I was very impressed to find ENERGYbits as one of the recordable foods on this app :)

Here are screenshots of a day without ENERGYbits and a day with ENERGYbits:  (I ate similar things both days—w/the exception of a smoothie of the first day that provided a ton of vitamin A)

Without ENERGYbits **All Day totals (Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner)**

With ENERGYbits **totals from Breakfast and Lunch only**

The largest difference I noticed was in my iron consumption.  Iron is important for athlete performance because it carries oxygen to and carbon dioxide away from all of the cells in the body.  Without enough iron a person can lose endurance and feel fatigued.  I don’t eat an iron enriched diet so, it’s a good thing that the ENERGYbits provided a good source of iron for me.  This probably contributed to how I felt during my run.

In Summary:

I’m a fan of ENERGYbits :)  I like the nutrients it provides and the way it makes me feel during my runs.  A strong run is a good run :)  It feels great to be #PoweredByBits

Check out energybits.com to learn more or to purchase ENERGYbits.

Follow ENERGYbits on twitter @ENERGYbits

Want to try ENERGYbits for yourself?

Enter this giveaway from an ENERGYbits Ambassador to win your very own tin of ENERGYbits.  Hurry though because the giveaway ends tonight! June 1, 2013

http://seesharprun.blogspot.com/2013/06/giveaway-1-bits-ink.html

Disclaimer:  I was provided with a sample of ENERGYbits to try, however all opinions are of my own.

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Also don’t forget there is still time to enter my giveaway for a free Disney ticket! Enter Here:

http://samantha-disney.blogspot.com/2013/05/how-to-get-and-stay-motivated-to-run.html