Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Relationships

Today was a good day :) I’m really enjoying work right now. For those of you who don’t know I’m currently doing something a little different for Walgreens. I’m traveling around to different stores remodeling them with a team of 20 people. It’s a lot of work and messy but the time goes by so quickly and I’m having fun. It feels like extreme home makeover but Walgreens edition. We are completely gutting and redoing each store in 1 week and get this the store stays open the entire time! I also really like the people I’m working with...each store in the district sent an employee so I’m meeting a lot of new people. Over the years I’ve worked in several stores and as I’m going on to my 7th year with Walgreens naturally I’m seeing some familiar faces too. It turns out I’ve worked with one of my managers 3 years ago in Swansboro, NC. What a small world. I also like the fact that we take lunch breaks in just 2 shifts. This means instead of eating alone and entertaining myself with my phone that I’m in contact with way too much I get to eat with 9 other people. I enjoy lunch conversations well conversations in general..I just like to talk haha.


During lunch the other day I was catching up with a guy I used to work with a year ago when he asked “So Samantha, do you still think guys you’re with shouldn’t work and you get to make all the money?” ...what a strange thing to remember me by. Depending on when we met most people remember me as the Tinkerbell girl, Disney girl, crazy contacts, cheerleader, girl who talks too much...etc...but this was strange to me. It makes you think what do people remember you by and what do you want them to remember you by (just something to think about)

I told him that since we’ve last worked together I no longer want that. As mentioned a few months ago in my Royal Wedding post I want my “prince” to have a job. I felt like it was selfish and unhealthy to want a guy not to work. One of my ex’s even told me that I was demasculinizing....ouch. Over the past few months I’ve been thinking a lot about the roles of men and women in society and in relationships. Women have become stronger leaders and much more independent of men than they were in the past. So why is it still strange to see a Woman working and a man not...why would the man feel less of man if men and women are equal? I really struggle here...I’ve asked several people this question and no one has been able to give me an answer that was good enough. Well JD answered this question for me clearly this week.. “Because God says so”

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

For a healthy relationship, we serve our spouse in playing the role God has given us to play in marriage. I realize I’m not referring to marriage when talking about my relationships but I feel the people you date are potential spouses...therefore the same roles apply. Guys lead, girls submit.

To be honest at first I didn’t like hearing this at all...because if God says so then it’s right. I can’t go around living my life in accordance to only the parts of His word that I like. That wouldn’t be giving total control to him. I shouldn’t need any more explanation but me being human I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of submitting to a guy in this day and age. I felt like it’d take away from my independence or something...but JD explained it in a way that allowed me to come to terms with all of this. In a marriage, guys are the leaders but should lead in a way that takes into consideration the girls..thoughts, feelings, wisdom..etc. God’s not saying everything should be a compromise but guys are not to be dictators over their wives either. Its not “Honey, anything you say.” Submitting to your husband doesn’t mean you’re inferior, weak or unimportant. Submission is God’s call to a wife to show her love for her husband. Husbands lead in a way that serves her(the wife)---this brings Glory to God. Thinking of it this way makes submission less demeaning and something I could work to live by.

In some of my past relationships I’ve come across as controlling as one guy said “demasculinizing” but I think my future relationships will be different..

Let it all be for His Glory.

Sorry this was a strange post but it’s been on my mind and it helps to write :)

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Friday, July 1, 2011

Home is Where the Heart is

Well hellloooo again..I’m not doing a very good job at keeping up with this am I? I’ve been doing a lot more of reading of blogs...well reading in general than posting. It’s the writing part that slows me down haha. If you ask me I’m much more of a math science kind of girl. I assure you if I could teleport my thoughts from my head to this blog there’d be a whole lot more posts but I can’t...so I post when I’m in the mood.


So it’s about that time again....to pack up and move. Ugh I’m dreading it. It’s not just the exhausting packing and unpacking that I’m dreading but it’s the move in general. As time gets closer the less I want to go. This blows my mind and here’s why...The past few months I’ve been drowning myself in stuff to make time pass quicker. I read a ton, blog, work extra hours, and go to the gym..At first I even tried to avoid making new friends, I mean what was the point I knew I’d be leaving again soon...I keep a regular routine, I do practically the same thing every week just waiting for time to pass by so I can hurry up and get back to Florida. Why? I am so excited and anxious to get back into school and, I miss Disney. I miss being able to wear my Mickey shoes without getting weird glances, I miss walking down main street eating Mickey supreme bars as fast as I can before it melts, I miss being able to ride rollercoasters whenever I become bored. So you get the point..I’ve been doing everything in my power to make time fly by so I can get back to Florida. But now all of a sudden I’m digging my heels in the sand trying to slow down? It doesn’t make sense. I’m seriously going to miss Chapel Hill and all of the new people I’ve become close to over the past 6 months. I’m going to miss spring time in the quad, all of the inside jokes, good jobs, high fives and misc escapades with people from work. Now with only a few weeks left I’m begging for more time. I really feel like I don’t want to leave.

I can remember feeling the exact same way when I left Chapel Hill for the first time, however when I got to Disney I was fine. I missed everyone but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as I imagined. Then after a few months I wanted to go back to Chapel Hill so I went for a visit and right away wanted to go back to Florida and when it came time to leave I protested like never before. I can remember crying because I really just didn’t want to come home. I wanted to extend my college program and stay but I couldn’t I had obligations in Chapel Hill and had to finish some things for grad school so against my liking I returned.

You see the pattern? No matter where I live I’m never satisfied...something always seems to be missing. I think I’ll get that “home sweet home feeling” if I just go to the place I miss most but once I get there I’m ready to move again. This was very frustrating to me until I figured it out just recently. As I mentioned earlier I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately and the latest book I’ve completed is “Heaven is for Real” by Todd Burpo. First off what an amazing book! I highly recommend it...it’s an easy read, I read it in less than 8 hours because I just couldn’t put it down. It’s about a little boy’s journey to heaven and back. After reading it I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about Heaven and what it’s like. That’s when I figured it out... Heaven is Home...these places here are only my temporary earthly residences. I’ll never experience that complete “home sweet home” feeling until I’m reunited with my heavenly Father. They say home is where the heart is; well my heart is with Him so I’ll never be Home-Home until I reach His kingdom. Thinking about it like this makes moving a whole lot easier. I know He has a plan for me and right now that plan is leading me away from Chapel Hill. It may hurt right now but I’ll be ok once I get there. God’s with me comforting me when I feel homesick. I’m also hoping this realization will keep me from wanting to move every time I feel like I miss a place. I can stop searching for a feeling I’ll never find here. I do want to settle in one place eventually and limit everywhere else to visits.

I don’t know what the geography in Heaven is like but I’m praying that Disney World and North Carolina are located walking distance from each other...hahaha.  Just maybe Disney will be located in the middle of Carolina's Arboretum?  If Disney World is the happiest place on Earth just imagine what it’s like in Heaven!! I bet the lines will be shorter and the Mickey Supreme bars won’t melt as quickly ;) oh and less protein spills too!

(I purposefully left out my future career in audiology from my picture of Heaven. In Heaven I don’t think anyone will need help with hearing but I’m sure people will still want to play in Disney..haha)





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