Saturday, December 3, 2011

10 Prayers for My Future Husband

I pray

1. That he continues to grow spiritually through the disciplines of Bible study, prayer, and quiet times. (Proverbs 4:23)

2. That his relationship with God will bear much fruit in his life, and that he will be a man who seeks wisdom and understanding. (Proverbs 3:7, Psalm 112:1)

3. That he would walk humbly with God, and would always be convicted quickly about any sin in his life. (Micah 6:8)

4. That he would have a teachable spirit and a servant’s heart, and that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Proverbs 15:33)

5. That the men in his life would encourage his accountability before God, and that he would be a godly influence on his friends and coworkers. (Proverbs 13:20, 27:17)

6. For his strength — physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. (Ephesians 3:16)

7. That he would have a balanced life in regards to work and play, and that he would submit his schedule to You. (Proverbs 16:9)

8. That he would be a man of prayer, seeking God in purposeful ways. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

9. That he will serve God and others with pure motives, and that God would be glorified in everything he does. (Colossians 3:23-24)

10. That he would offer all this dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those that bring God glory, and that count for eternity. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Kelsey and Samantha to the Rescue

This morning I decided to do something I never do...I took out the trash. Haha I’m ok with doing the dishes but I’m terrible about taking out the recycling and trash. But today I thought I’d be helpful and surprise everyone by taking out the trash! Well when I got to the dumpster and threw the trash in something caught my eye that made me take a double look. I thought I saw an orange tabby cat sitting inside with his head stuck in a can. I thought it might be a prop from Halloween and went to check the mail. After I got the mail I had to go back to the dumpster to look again. I took a closer look and yes it was a cat stuck in a can! I could see him breathing but then began to freak out because I wasn’t sure if he was running out of air. So I ran inside up to my roommates room I banged on her door screaming “Kelsey Wake up, Wake up Kelsey!!” She couldn’t really hear me because she was in the shower and later I found out that she just thought I was banging on her door to tell her that there was a gunman loose in Shands (the Hospital where we work and attend class). Yes there was gunman loose but I wasn’t concerned with that at the time. I was scared for this poor cat! I decided to text Kelsey and tell her she takes too long of showers and that a cat was in the dumpster with a can stuck on his head. I then went to my room and waited for her to get out of the shower.

I was too afraid to go rescue the cat myself because I don’t know what I’d do if I reached for him and discovered he was dead. Also, I have short arms and I would need help getting into the dumpster. When she got out of the shower she called me because she thought I was joking with her and trying to hurry her up. For those of you who don’t know Kelsey this girl must love animals more than people. She is forever trying to save their fact just last week she brought home 2 baby squirrels who had fallen out of a tree..sadly they died but at least she tried. So if you need Kelsey to move just tell her an animal needs to be saved. However, I was not joking! There was a cat stuck in a can that needed to be saved... So we ran out to the dumpster Kelsey (freshly out of the shower) climbed up and reached in for this cat. You could tell he had been stuck for a while because he wasn’t thrashing around but just sitting in the trash stuck. His face was all wet from the olive juice in the can she twisted and turned the can...the poor baby was really stuck :( Finally the can popped off! The cat hesitated for a half a second looked at Kelsey, looked at me and then darted! I’ve never seen a cat move so fast. Kelsey fell to the ground laughing so hard...I was still worried so we went searching for this cat. He was nowhere to be found but I’m guessing he’s ok and very glad to be free :) I asked Kelsey what was so funny and she said just think of what it would have looked like to other people had they been watching. Two college girls dumpster diving and then all of a sudden a cat sky rockets out of the dumpster. I guess it would have been an eyebrow raiser...haha Well anyways I hope the poor kitty has learned his lesson and doesn’t go sticking his head in places where it shouldn’t be. I’m glad I decided to take the trash out today and glad Kelsey has long arms and not afraid to get a little dirty :)

I wish I would have thought to take a picture of this incident.

Thursday, October 6, 2011


Before I formed you in the womb I knew and approved of you, and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Jeremiah 1:5

I feel like God has led me to this piece of scripture tonight and I just want to share it all with you. It’s an awesome verse. He has set each and every one of us apart for a high purpose. He knows our strengths, weaknesses, potential and personalities more than we know it ourselves. He has great plans for each of us and our job is to discover it and walk it. Sometimes I find myself questioning what I’m doing and where I’m going in life. It’s a helpless feeling that is not enjoyed. Instead of questioning I need to find rest in Him. He will help me get where I’m going..I wasn’t created to be strong enough to do it alone.

I’m just out of my first wave of exams in Graduate school. Entering these exams I experienced quite a bit of anxiety. I felt unprepared and frustrated. I was on edge and even snapped a few times at fellow classmates. (Sorry guys!) Thank God I know they love me. I knew my peers shared the some of the same feelings. I overheard several of them saying things along the lines (I give up. I’m going to fail out. So much for audiology. Etc.) Many of us were questioning audiology as our future. Yes we are overdramatic first years, but I hear that’s normal. Haha However, after receiving two tests back I’m happy to report that I made A’s on both. So how come I felt so unprepared? I had little faith in myself. I was doubtful and questioned God’s plans for me.

God has created each of us with specific purpose and when we discover this we will feel a sense of purpose and become confident. I’m still struggling/working on this but I think I’m on the right track. I’m not going to fail out, I can do this. I know in my heart at this point in my life this is what I’m supposed to be working towards. It’s not always going to be smooth sailing but it’ll all work out in the end.

If you’re feeling like you’re headed in the wrong direction or at a standstill in your life I assure you it is ok. It’s not too late to get up and walk in the path God has intended for you. You won’t strike out at 3 chances God is the God of even the millionth chance :)


Friday, September 9, 2011

The Grass is Never Greener on the Other side

UF update:

I’m still enjoying it here in Gainesville. I like the fact that I see all of the same faces in all of my classes. It makes getting to know your classmates a lot easier. I’ve also started to hang out with a few outside of class for lunch and night outings which is fun. Even though the reading is still a lot to handle at times the classes are starting to overlap making it seem almost easier that undergrad. I hope it stays this way. So all in all, things are going smoothly.

Switching gears, yesterday I was thinking about the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side” and I just couldn’t see that statement as being true. Well unless if you’re standing in our dog pen back home where the dogs have successfully dug out all of the grass in their vicinity leaving only mud to roll around in. But besides that I couldn’t really think of anything. However, if you don’t take the saying so literally and really think about it, the grass is never greener on the other side. Never. Temptation is always leaving us wanting more and sometimes it makes us greedy or envy what others have. This isn’t good and honestly makes me feel really crappy when it’s happening to me.

For those of you who know me well, you know I drive this lovely or not so lovely anymore, 2002 red Chevrolet cavalier, also known as the Tinkerbell or bumper car (I often park using the tap method) oops haha. Well anyways I received this car in 2004 as an early graduation gift. I was told if I graduated in the top 5 of my class I could keep the car with no car payments however if my grades were to slip I’d have to pick up the payments after graduation. Thankfully I graduated in the top of my class and had no payments. It was nice having a car I didn’t have to pay was like my nice little green pasture. However, in 2008 my parents helped my sister get a new car. A nice with automatic locks and power windows. Let’s just say I was a little more than jealous. I was no longer happy with my car that worked fine but was starting show its age. I had a perfectly fine car but was left want more..wanting a new car, one like hers. You see I was starting to look at my green pasture as the inside of the dog pen..I felt like if I got a new car I’d be in a greener pasture. But here is the thing, when my sister received her nice little car she also received a nice little, or not so little, car payment to go along with it. I don’t know what you think about that but to me it’d fry my grass.

Looking back, I’m so glad that I didn’t go out and get a new car like hers. I’m more than grateful not to have a car payment right now when I can hardly afford my groceries. Graduate school not only keeps me from working full time but it comes with a nice tuition bill as well. God provides us with not what we want but what we need. My car may not be as pretty or run as smoothly as it once did but it hasn’t ever broken down which is a blessing. (I hope I’m not jinxing myself in sharing this). When I finish school I’m sure I’ll get a new car but for now what I got is what I need.

Wanting more and wanting what other’s have can be difficult temptations to fight but if you don’t you’re ultimately relying on possessions to make you happier and this is like eating salt when you’re dying of thirst. It just doesn’t make sense. You’re never going to be satisfied. Wanting one nice thing leads to wanting 2,then 3, and so on... And besides none of this matters in the long run. “we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it” 1 timothy 6:7. Instead of wanting more, be grateful for what you do have. God is faithful and He provides.

The grass is green enough for me right here :) Thankful to be a student with no car payment!!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Procrastination at its Finest

To say that I have some reading to do would be an understatement. My first week of grad school was great but I can tell it’s going to be intense. I love to read...however, not required reading. But I suppose that’s how it usually goes. So here is procrastination at its finest. Blogging :)

While reading about the pathways of the Central Auditory System which goes something like this, Cochlear Nucleus-->Superior Olivary Complex-->Lateral Lemniscus-->Inferior Colliculus-->Medial Geniculate Body-->Auditory Cortex and Subcortex-->Corpus Callosum...(are you lost yet? Yea me too), my mind started to wander.

I started to think about my time here in Gainesville, not Florida, but specifically in Gainesville. I’ve only been settled here for about two weeks and I’ve already met so many people. Most of them are acquaintances and will stay acquaintances but some will become more than that..they will become my friends. All friends start out as acquaintances but not all acquaintances become friends. Acquaintances are people you say hi to and have polite conversations with...friends are much more than that. They are people you know, like, and trust. So how do we move from being just acquaintances to becoming friends? That’s easy..we invest time into the relationship. It’s not a specific amount of time but a regular amount of time. Making new friends is pretty easy but keeping up with old friends can be challenging.

I’m learning quickly that grad school is going to be one giant time sucker and I need to utilize my time wisely. I might not be able to talk to friends from NC everyday but I can keep in touch. If I don’t then they will slip into the acquaintance category. They need my time just as I need theirs.

This whole concept works just the same for my relationship with God. The past year I’ve had a lot of time to read His Word, to pray to Him, to talk to Him, and to worship Him. Now that the majority of my time is spent in a book or a clinic I refuse to let my time with Him slip. God will never be in my acquaintance category. Nurturing and furthering my relationship with Christ is of most importance. To help me do this I’m actively searching for a group of people who feel the same. I’m looking into several different bible studies and community groups. I like the church I’ve been attending and really like CRU and the people I’ve met there. I can’t wait to see where God places me and meet the people that will draw me closer to Him

Proverbs 18:24


Tuesday, August 2, 2011

On the Move

Finally have some time to sit down and write something. My move to Florida has been a crazy busy one for sure. It’s been nonstop everyday but my sister needs a few hours to do some school work before we head back to Universal Studios so I’m taking advantage of this time to write as well. Here is an update on my crazy beautiful life. Enjoy :)

We started the move on my birthday July 29th. We left at 5am and this wouldn’t have been so bad but we didn’t get to sleep until 1 am! I’m not very good at packing...somewhere along the way I’ve picked up the idea that the best way to pack is to throw everything into large trash bags and shove them into the trunk count to 3 and then slam it shut. This is not a good method when you are trying to pack up your life and move it a long distance so I wouldn’t suggest it to any of you. Thank God my step dad is much better packing than I and we were able to fit the essentials. My dad is going to bring the furniture and everything else I couldn’t fit on the 13th.

If I didn’t already know it I’ve learned on the drive here that I’m REALLY stubborn and just about as impatient as I am stubborn. Jim and my mom were in one car and my sister and I were in another. I was following Jim until I couldn’t stand any longer how slow he was driving. He wasn’t driving below the speed limit or anything he just wasn’t driving 5 over like I wanted to so finally I got fed up and passed him. I figured I had a GPS just as they did so there was no reason I couldn’t lead the way. Well it wasn’t too long before I was proven GPS for some reason took us down ALL country roads for about 100 miles. How annoying...and who knows how much longer we would have been on those roads if I didn’t come to this stop...

Yes its exactly what it looks the middle of the woods...only way to cross the river was by this small ferry boat that held 1 car at time...NO WAY was I going on looked like something straight out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Jim pulled up beside me and my mom rolled down her window and said “Will you do the speed limit now?!” hahahah we got a good laugh out of it and they took the lead once again but this time Jim went a few over the limit so it worked out. I shouldn’t have been so impatient and just followed to begin with.
These magnets I found in Orlando describe me perfectly hahahah.

We arrived in Gainesville around dinner time and unloaded the car and then got back in and headed to Clearwater where we stayed the night. I love the place I’m going to be living in, in Gainesville. It’s a super cute 3 bedroom 3 bath condo.. My roommates mom did a great job decorating it...I wish I was that talented.

That night I was so exhausted..exhausted to the point of tears. Running off of 4 hours sleep and driving 13 hours is NOT a good combination. Everything was so frustrating that I’d just break down and cry. But its my birthday and I can cry if I want to right? Right. That night was rough but it has gotten better since then. The next day my sister and I drove to Orlando and spent the day with one of my new roommates and her bf in Disney’s Animal Kingdom (DAK) and Hollywood Studios. We had a great time and it reassured me that we are going to get along well and have a nice living situation this year :) I’ve also grown a little founder of the Animal Kingdom. DAK was my least favorite park but its moving on up in my book. At studios Mickey Mouse heard it was my birthday and wanted to give me my frozen lemonade for free!! Thanks Boss! I was really thirsty and that drink was just what I needed :) I love magical moments in Disney :)

Can you believe even after living at Disney for 6 months I still haven’t seen everything?! This trip I’ve crossed off several more things on my Disney to-do-list. I rode the Dinosaur ride for the first time in 10 years, saw a show under the tree of life, got my picture taken with Woody, and saw movie in a Dine-in Theatre in Downtown Disney. Boys...the dine-in theatre would be a nice place to take a girl on a date. You might think its lame but she won’t. I really enjoyed eating and relaxing in recliners while watching the new Pirates of Caribbean movie. That night we had my birthday dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. If you haven’t ever been there you should go! It’s quite an experience. The entire place is set up like a rainforest will animals, rainstorms, and everything. The food was great and I got a sparkling volcano cake for dessert. Thanks mom.

Yesterday we went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. It was amazing but entirely too crowded. I think they need to make an entire theme park for Harry Potter just to dilute the crowd a bit. We had some frozen butterbeer while we were there and it was rather tasty. We also took a tour of the castle and rode the simulator ride. I now have a season pass so I’m going to wait for a later date to explore the rest of the park. Later today we are going to the other side of Universal Studios if my sister ever finishes her homework!!! It’s noon already! Geesh. I feel bad that she has so much work but I wouldn’t be much help to her.

Okay thats enough of an update for now but I start work again tomorrow!! Can’t wait to hang out with Minnie Mouse in Epcot. This is my favorite shift at Disney and am really looking forward to it. I’m scheduled several other shifts this week and a training class to update my skills. I’m sure I’ll tell you all about later. Have a magical day!!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Today was a good day :) I’m really enjoying work right now. For those of you who don’t know I’m currently doing something a little different for Walgreens. I’m traveling around to different stores remodeling them with a team of 20 people. It’s a lot of work and messy but the time goes by so quickly and I’m having fun. It feels like extreme home makeover but Walgreens edition. We are completely gutting and redoing each store in 1 week and get this the store stays open the entire time! I also really like the people I’m working with...each store in the district sent an employee so I’m meeting a lot of new people. Over the years I’ve worked in several stores and as I’m going on to my 7th year with Walgreens naturally I’m seeing some familiar faces too. It turns out I’ve worked with one of my managers 3 years ago in Swansboro, NC. What a small world. I also like the fact that we take lunch breaks in just 2 shifts. This means instead of eating alone and entertaining myself with my phone that I’m in contact with way too much I get to eat with 9 other people. I enjoy lunch conversations well conversations in general..I just like to talk haha.

During lunch the other day I was catching up with a guy I used to work with a year ago when he asked “So Samantha, do you still think guys you’re with shouldn’t work and you get to make all the money?” ...what a strange thing to remember me by. Depending on when we met most people remember me as the Tinkerbell girl, Disney girl, crazy contacts, cheerleader, girl who talks too much...etc...but this was strange to me. It makes you think what do people remember you by and what do you want them to remember you by (just something to think about)

I told him that since we’ve last worked together I no longer want that. As mentioned a few months ago in my Royal Wedding post I want my “prince” to have a job. I felt like it was selfish and unhealthy to want a guy not to work. One of my ex’s even told me that I was demasculinizing....ouch. Over the past few months I’ve been thinking a lot about the roles of men and women in society and in relationships. Women have become stronger leaders and much more independent of men than they were in the past. So why is it still strange to see a Woman working and a man not...why would the man feel less of man if men and women are equal? I really struggle here...I’ve asked several people this question and no one has been able to give me an answer that was good enough. Well JD answered this question for me clearly this week.. “Because God says so”

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

For a healthy relationship, we serve our spouse in playing the role God has given us to play in marriage. I realize I’m not referring to marriage when talking about my relationships but I feel the people you date are potential spouses...therefore the same roles apply. Guys lead, girls submit.

To be honest at first I didn’t like hearing this at all...because if God says so then it’s right. I can’t go around living my life in accordance to only the parts of His word that I like. That wouldn’t be giving total control to him. I shouldn’t need any more explanation but me being human I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of submitting to a guy in this day and age. I felt like it’d take away from my independence or something...but JD explained it in a way that allowed me to come to terms with all of this. In a marriage, guys are the leaders but should lead in a way that takes into consideration the girls..thoughts, feelings, wisdom..etc. God’s not saying everything should be a compromise but guys are not to be dictators over their wives either. Its not “Honey, anything you say.” Submitting to your husband doesn’t mean you’re inferior, weak or unimportant. Submission is God’s call to a wife to show her love for her husband. Husbands lead in a way that serves her(the wife)---this brings Glory to God. Thinking of it this way makes submission less demeaning and something I could work to live by.

In some of my past relationships I’ve come across as controlling as one guy said “demasculinizing” but I think my future relationships will be different..

Let it all be for His Glory.

Sorry this was a strange post but it’s been on my mind and it helps to write :)


Friday, July 1, 2011

Home is Where the Heart is

Well hellloooo again..I’m not doing a very good job at keeping up with this am I? I’ve been doing a lot more of reading of blogs...well reading in general than posting. It’s the writing part that slows me down haha. If you ask me I’m much more of a math science kind of girl. I assure you if I could teleport my thoughts from my head to this blog there’d be a whole lot more posts but I can’ I post when I’m in the mood.

So it’s about that time pack up and move. Ugh I’m dreading it. It’s not just the exhausting packing and unpacking that I’m dreading but it’s the move in general. As time gets closer the less I want to go. This blows my mind and here’s why...The past few months I’ve been drowning myself in stuff to make time pass quicker. I read a ton, blog, work extra hours, and go to the gym..At first I even tried to avoid making new friends, I mean what was the point I knew I’d be leaving again soon...I keep a regular routine, I do practically the same thing every week just waiting for time to pass by so I can hurry up and get back to Florida. Why? I am so excited and anxious to get back into school and, I miss Disney. I miss being able to wear my Mickey shoes without getting weird glances, I miss walking down main street eating Mickey supreme bars as fast as I can before it melts, I miss being able to ride rollercoasters whenever I become bored. So you get the point..I’ve been doing everything in my power to make time fly by so I can get back to Florida. But now all of a sudden I’m digging my heels in the sand trying to slow down? It doesn’t make sense. I’m seriously going to miss Chapel Hill and all of the new people I’ve become close to over the past 6 months. I’m going to miss spring time in the quad, all of the inside jokes, good jobs, high fives and misc escapades with people from work. Now with only a few weeks left I’m begging for more time. I really feel like I don’t want to leave.

I can remember feeling the exact same way when I left Chapel Hill for the first time, however when I got to Disney I was fine. I missed everyone but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as I imagined. Then after a few months I wanted to go back to Chapel Hill so I went for a visit and right away wanted to go back to Florida and when it came time to leave I protested like never before. I can remember crying because I really just didn’t want to come home. I wanted to extend my college program and stay but I couldn’t I had obligations in Chapel Hill and had to finish some things for grad school so against my liking I returned.

You see the pattern? No matter where I live I’m never satisfied...something always seems to be missing. I think I’ll get that “home sweet home feeling” if I just go to the place I miss most but once I get there I’m ready to move again. This was very frustrating to me until I figured it out just recently. As I mentioned earlier I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately and the latest book I’ve completed is “Heaven is for Real” by Todd Burpo. First off what an amazing book! I highly recommend’s an easy read, I read it in less than 8 hours because I just couldn’t put it down. It’s about a little boy’s journey to heaven and back. After reading it I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about Heaven and what it’s like. That’s when I figured it out... Heaven is Home...these places here are only my temporary earthly residences. I’ll never experience that complete “home sweet home” feeling until I’m reunited with my heavenly Father. They say home is where the heart is; well my heart is with Him so I’ll never be Home-Home until I reach His kingdom. Thinking about it like this makes moving a whole lot easier. I know He has a plan for me and right now that plan is leading me away from Chapel Hill. It may hurt right now but I’ll be ok once I get there. God’s with me comforting me when I feel homesick. I’m also hoping this realization will keep me from wanting to move every time I feel like I miss a place. I can stop searching for a feeling I’ll never find here. I do want to settle in one place eventually and limit everywhere else to visits.

I don’t know what the geography in Heaven is like but I’m praying that Disney World and North Carolina are located walking distance from each other...hahaha.  Just maybe Disney will be located in the middle of Carolina's Arboretum?  If Disney World is the happiest place on Earth just imagine what it’s like in Heaven!! I bet the lines will be shorter and the Mickey Supreme bars won’t melt as quickly ;) oh and less protein spills too!

(I purposefully left out my future career in audiology from my picture of Heaven. In Heaven I don’t think anyone will need help with hearing but I’m sure people will still want to play in Disney..haha)


Monday, June 20, 2011

Eat Your Veggies Faithfully

This Sunday while sitting in church I was having some serious God moments. I can’t help but feel closer to the Lord when I’m surrounded by other followers worshiping just as I am. But I don’t have these God moments every week...God moments are times when I feel like He is talking directly to me or knocking on my door telling me to pay attention. These moments also don’t necessarily exclusively occur during church but this moment did. Even though Pastor JD was talking to everyone in the room I felt like God was specifically talking to me through him. As you all know (assuming you read my post before last) I’ve been struggling with control in my life, well throughout the week I’ve been praying and asking God to answer some of my questions on the subject and well He did through pastor JD’s sermon this week. I really wanted to make this post “Who’s in Control? 2.0” but I want to listen to the sermon again before writing my thoughts on it. I’m waiting for it to be posted to (I’m providing the link in case you’re interested in listening before I have a chance to get my thoughts down).

So if this post isn’t “Who’s in Control? 2.0,” what is it? It’s on nutrition YAY!! No not yay...its another part of my life I constantly struggle with. I know your probably thinking “What is this girl’s problem? She looks fine” but its not that I’m overweight or underweight it’s what I’m consuming is just bad. Here is my typical diet:

Breakfast: Poptarts (chocolate, smores, or strawberry unfrosted), Orange juice (if its a good day and I’m not convinced its poisoning me)

Lunch: Peanut butter sandwich with nutella, chips—usually Doritos or salt and vinegar, string cheese, fiber one bar, fruit snacks (has to be the walmart brand)

Dinner: What’s that?

It’s bad...I’m not sure what kind of nutritional content I get from those things but it isn’t much and probably explains why my immune system hates me. I’ve gotten especially terrible with Dinner..I’ll feel hungry and I’ll make something but after cooking I just don’t feel like eating so I put it in the refrigerator for a day that never comes. It’s almost like I fill up on the smell...yeah I’m crazy and I know its not true because a few hours later I’ll eat something high in sugar or carbs (airheads, m&ms, cookies, or more chips) to settle my stomach enough to sleep.

I have very little variety in my diet...its sad the biggest variety lies with what flavor pop tart I choose or if I decide to go with grape jelly instead of nutella.  I'm so incredibly picky when it comes to food.  I eat like a 3 year has to be normal in texture, plain, and sweet to taste. 

Certain people in my life feel the need to constantly tell me I don’t eat right and I hate hearing all of the lectures...that might be why when I go to the doctors I skip the nutrition section of the paperwork. I just don’t want to hear it.

So what makes me want to change now? While browsing the bookstore the other day (I do this often for fun especially if they have a coffee shop) I came across this book called “Food, Fitness, and Faith for Women.” I picked it up because I haven’t thought about what my health means to God. If I want to live my life Christ-like then I need to do it in all areas of my life including taking care of myself.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
1 Corithians 6: 19-20

I’ve been quite familiar with this verse for some time now but I’ve always read it as God saying do not sin against your own body with sexual sin. Pretty much no sex until marriage! Ok got it...but I never considered eating crappy is also dishonoring my body aka God’s temple. Its not all the nagging from friends and family that make me want to change my diet but its the realization that I'm dishonoring God.
With God’s help I can do this! It started last night with instead of skipping dinner, which I would have been fine doing, I made chicken fajitas and I actually ate one! I also had some whole grain tortilla chips...yes thats right...brown chips...haha and to my surprise they actually tasted good and they’re better for me than they regular chips. Today for lunch instead of my usual peanut butter and nutella sandwich I’m having a turkey and salami sandwich on whole grain oatmeal bread...hopefully I’ll like it and if I don't I pray I'll grow to like it.  I’m still eating my usual junk with my sandwich haha but baby steps right?? I’m going to get better :) I'm determined to eat healthier faithfully.

Well thats all for on the look out for Control 2.0. I’m going on vacation this week but I haven’t decided if that means I’ll take a vacation from the blog as well. A long road trip might be conducive to thinking and writing. Pray for safe travels for my sister and I as we make our way to NY :)

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Just for fun--Not a typical Post

Trying to find a distraction...and this is what I came across.  Not my typical post...just something to do.  I really like "..." ....  Also, before I start did you know I graduated from Carolina and still don't fully understand how to use a comma...haha  Thank God for friends who edit my papers!

1. What time did you get up this morning?
5:45am . For those of you who work with me you know I hardly ever make it to work on time. So in order to make it in by 8 instead of 8:10 I met a coworker for coffee at 7. Yay for being responsible and making it to work on time!!

2. How do you like your steak?
I like it pink...not red

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I saw Something Borrowed with Cait a few weeks ago. It was pretty good.

3a.  Favorite Movie?
Probably Benny and Joon

4. What is your favorite TV show?
Easiest question ever....Desperate Housewives. So many life lessons to be learned from that show!

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Somewhere warm.  I'm always cold.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Iced Chai Tea Latte and a piece of chocolate chip banana nut bread from Starbucks. Yum!

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Hmmm...thats difficult...American?? I’m not really sure

8. What foods do you dislike?
Oh don’t get me started....eggs, strawberries, beets, carrots, apples, spaghetti w/long noodles..pretty much anything healthy

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
I like Noodles and Chipotle

10. Favorite dressing?
Toss up between Ranch, Ceasar, and depends on my mood

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
A tinkerbell car? Chevy Cavalier aka (bumper car)

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Dressy stuff especially shirts with ruffles

12a. Favorite Disney character?
If you do not know the answer to this...we are not friends. Just sayin.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Austrailia, New Zealand, Ireland...somewhere in the Carribean.  I enjoy traveling.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Depends on my mood  and situation but I’d like to think I’m a ½ full kind of girl :)

15. Where would you want to retire?
Chapel Hill, NC....I like it here haha but who knows I may end up liking Fl better

16. Favorite time of day?
Morning...its when I’m most functional

17. Where were you born?
Jacksonville, North Carolina.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Competitive cheerleading and UNC Basketball of course

(Questions 19-21 were either irrelevant or stupid so I chose not to include them)

22. Are you a morning person?
I think so.

23. Are you a leader or a follower?
Leader in Society, Follower of the Lord :)

24. Do you have any pets?
Kringle, he’s my cat...but he hates me...go figure

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
I share most of my current events in my blog...nothing too exciting right now. Excited for August to hurry up and get here. I’ve never wanted to rush a summer more than I do now.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A veterinarian or teacher.  Typical.  A guy at work told me he wanted to be a Janitor....who picks that as a kid?

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Playing silly games like hotel or hobo...yes I used to like to pretend I was homeless. Hahaha it was fun to build forts and stuff outside

28. Are you a cat or dog person?
Cats but I like small dogs too

29. Are you married?

30. Always wear your seat belt?
ALWAYS. I won’t ride in anything with them. Well besides the bus but thats the only exception

31. Been in a car accident?
Hahahaa umm a few...have I mentioned that I’m a horrible driver?

32. Any pet peeves?
Dirty kitchen, confusing the difference between “to” and “too”

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Pepperoni and jalapeño

34. Favorite Flower?
Pink roses

35. Favorite ice cream?
Half baked....mmm

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
These questions are boring me.

37. How many times did you fail your drivers license test?
I bet you can guess...yes I failed the driving part once. I still can’t back up in a straight line.

38. From whom did you get your last email?
My mom or UF...I’m not sure. They both tend to flood my email box ;)

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Express or Apple

40. Done anything spontaneous lately?
No. I need help in this area of my life. I have to plan for everything, its rather daunting.

41. Like your job?
LOVE my job at Disney and Walgreens is okay too I guess...but love love Disney :)

42. Broccoli?
With cheese please

43. What was your favorite vacation?
I enjoy our time share in Atlantic Beach. Two things I like to do most during the summer are reading and tanning.  I’m sad I’ll be missing out this year. 

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Chris, Collins, and Justin...5 visits to food places in a single may be a record for me

45. What are you listening to right now?
Made to Worship by Chris Tomlin is playing on my Pandora currently

46. What is your favorite color?

47. How many tattoos do you have?

48 is another silly question I’ll be skipping

49. Coffee Drinker?
On occasion but I prefer diet pepsi

50. What time did you finish this quiz?
12:00 am...yes exactly

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Who's in control?

Now that I’ve finished my puzzle I’m back to blogging more frequently. You know you’ve missed me ;) and if you haven’t well then I guess send me another puzzle? Haha

The other day at work they called me Napoleon insinuating that I have a “Napoleon complex” or control issues. I must confess I can be controlling at times. I’m thankful that I’m friends with my coworkers and know that they love me or I’d be afraid they disliked me for my control issues. I’ve never really liked group work either. I always felt obligated to do most of the work as I couldn’t control the effort my fellow group members put into the project at stake. It sounds bad but it’s true. I think I might find some security in being in control I’m not sure...all I know is I don’t like it when I don’t feel in control. I’m telling you all this because I’m not okay with it. I don’t like being called Napoleon even if it is a joke, it makes me sad. But at the same time I’m glad it came up because it made me think of who is in control of my or God.

Life is a road of trials and tribulations that are only manageable when God is in the driver seat. If we do not give Him the wheel we are bound to crash.

Some people say we make our own life choices and then God blesses them but what if God makes choices for us and we are supposed to choose and carry out those choices? How do I know that I’m giving Him control and making the right choices now? I can’t see what He sees. This is where a lot of my uncertainty lies...

How do I know that I’ve chosen the right career path? What if somewhere along the way my “control issues” interfered with God’s plan? I’m nervous that once I start classes that it’ll be too difficult. I’m afraid I might fail because it’s not what He had chosen for me but what I chose for myself.

Not giving God control explains all of my failed attempts to find a good guy. Every time I think I’ve found someone great they turn out not to be so great. Or at least not great for me. I probably wouldn’t have gotten so close to them if I would have given God the wheel for 5 minutes. How will I know if the next guy I fall for is in God’s plan for Samantha or in my plan for Samantha?

We are supposed to give total control to our Lord as He knows us better than we know ourselves and only His way is the perfect way. When we interfere and take control we are left with the feeling “What am I doing wrong?” because no matter what we do nothing seems to work out right. I think I’ve said this before, but what I think is best for me may not be what He KNOWS is best for me. I’m afraid I haven’t given Him total control...I want to but not sure how. How do you know when you’ve given total control to Him? Although I wish it could, I don’t think this question can be answered in a “How to follow God for Dummies” kind of book. Haha... I know there is no formulaic answer to this question but if you have some insight please speak up.

Dear Lord, Please teach me how to give you control of the wheel that is my life. Everyone knows that I’m a bad driver and I’m tired of crashing into things...Amen

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Here Goes Nothing

I’m meeting a friend for coffee in exactly 7 hrs and 56 minutes so I better make this quick. I want some sleep before then.

Here Goes (click here to listen)  Right click to open in new tab/window

“Never got anywhere by running away
Never learned anything without a mistake
Never loved anyone by playing it safe
It's a long way down, but I'm here right
Here goes nothing, here goes everything
Gotta reach for something or you'll fall for anything
Take a breath, take a step, what comes next God only knows
But here goes

I don't wanna turn around and wonder what happened
Never lost and never found are one in the same
I wanna run across the battle lines and take my chances
Not the long way 'round when I'm here right

Here goes nothing, here goes everything
Gotta reach for something or you'll fall for anything
Take a breath, take a step, what comes next God only knows
But here goes
What good is chance not taken?
What good is life not living ?
What good is love not given?
Here goes nothing, here goes everything
Gotta reach for something or you'll fall for anything”

Sometimes my posts are about Disney, sometimes they are about faith, sometimes they’re like diary entries, and some, for example this one, are based on songs. The song Here Goes by Bebo Norman has been my theme song lately.

Today at work I was playing with a “Magic UNC Ball” it’s very similar to a Magic 8 ball and was wondering what it would be like to live my life by a Magic ball. I thought about trying it out for a few days... you know shaking the ball before making any decision and doing what it says.  Living a life by 100% chance via a Magic 8 ball is irrational and would probably turn disastrous.

Me: “Should I go to work today?”...ball: “my reply is no”—outcome: lose my job.

Me: “Is it acceptable to not shower today?”...ball: “yes, definitely”---outcome: I’ll smell bad.

Me: “Is it okay to act irrationally?” Ball: “Cannot predict now”---outcome: that doesn’t tell me anything *shake again for better answer*

I forgot where I was going with this...or maybe I’m not sure where I’m going with this...

We’re supposed to use our brains to make logical decisions to avoid making stupid ones, but isn’t it okay to be irrational at times? I feel like if everyone acted rationally all of the time this would be a boring world. We need to take chances...step out of the comfort zone. However, we shouldn’t live our lives completely on chance like a magic 8 ball but instead take calculated risks. Risks were willing to accept the outcome no matter what happens..good or bad, easy or difficult. Sometimes I wish I could see my life the way God does...then I’d be more certain about the future and more certain about the decisions I’m making now. But I can’t, so I have to take chances..take risks...calculated risks. Most times rational decisions are the best ones however on occasion irrational ones turn out to be okay too...If we don’t take a chance we might miss what we’re looking for...

Here goes nothing...

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Fire in Apartment 1101

Now that I’m clean, my feet no longer look like a true tar heel and I don’t reek of smoke....Let me tell you about my night. 
Last night I was supposed to head to charlotte so I could spend today at Carrowinds with my sister.  For some reason I decided not to go last night.  I had no real excuse I just didn’t feel like driving so I planned to wake early this morning and drive up.   I ate dinner (cottage cheese and cold pasta) around 9pm and then cleaned the kitchen.  I took apart the burners and really scrubbed the stove because it had gotten really messy during the week.  I didn’t bother replacing the burners because I wanted everything to dry out.  I locked the door but not the top latch as my roommate said she’d be out late with friends and then went to bed.
At around 1:30am I woke to the sound of the smoke detector going off.  At first I didn’t think much of it because it’s pretty sensitive and goes off often when we cook.  I got out of bed to see if she needed help shutting it off, I was tired and just wanted to get back to sleep as I was going to be getting up in a few hours to drive to Charlotte.  However, when I opened my door I felt heat and saw nothing but black smoke and bright orange light coming from the kitchen which is located right next to my bedroom.  I panicked. I couldn’t think and didn’t know what to do.  I couldn’t tell if the fire started in my apartment, I couldn’t see exactly where it was and I didn’t know if my roommate was home.  Talk about being was the most scared I’ve been in my entire life.  I went back into my room ran in a few circles grabbed my phone and ran out of the apartment.
I immediately called 911, I had difficulty telling the operator where I lived.  I guess I was in shock because after I finally got out the address he asked me which apartment and all I could come up with was “the one that’s on fire!”  I finally was able to provide my apartment number and asked them to hurry.  I then called my mom asked her not to panic that my apartment was on fire but I was ok...don’t tell your parents this...they just ask too many questions you don’t have the answers to haha.  I told her I had to go, I couldn’t think.  I was the first one out of the building and it felt like forever before everyone else started emerging from their apartments. I stood out in the rain in my night shirt and just prayed as hard as I could.  I was so anxious to see everyone get out safely.  I still didn’t know where my roommate was...I tried calling her name and her phone, no answer.
The fire department responded probably within 10 minutes they went in and pulled my roommate from her room.  Can you believe she slept through the whole thing?!  Thank God I was there to call 911.  Evidently when my roommate got home she cooked some chicken tenders and French fries.  When the chicken was done the fries were still a little soggy so she went to her room to eat the chicken while the fries cooked a little longer and fell asleep.  The fries were left cooking on the stove and caught fire.  The firefighters said the sprinkler system kept the fire from spreading from the kitchen and had the fire practically out when they got there.  Thank you Lord for sprinklers.  The chief said that system probably saved our lives.
Last night for the first time I felt Jesus holding me.  I knew He was there and He was going to make sure I stayed safe.  I felt His comfort.  The firefighters said that out of all of the buildings in my entire apartment complex my building is the only one with a sprinkler system.  That’s because 10 years ago there was a similar fire and someone died.  As a result all new buildings being built or remodeled were mandated to have a sprinkler system.  Because my building had to be rebuilt because of the fire it now has sprinklers.  Is it luck that I live in the ONLY building on property with a sprinkler system?  No that was Jesus watching over me.  I can’t help but think what would have happened if I would have went to Charlotte last night...would my roommate still be here?  The fire would have probably still been put out by the sprinklers but would she have suffocated from smoke in her sleep?  I think I unintentionally heard a whisper from God to stay home last night.   I didn't save anyone but He did.  I’m so glad everyone is ok and everything destroyed can be replaced.  I may be a little homeless right now but my situation is only temporary.  I’m in a nice hotel right now and the management of my apartment complex are great and are working on finding me a new place to live.  I’m very grateful and feel more than blessed today :)
My roommate and I don't always see eye to eye but I still care about her.  She struggles with more than what an average 18 year old should.  Maybe this was God’s way of intervening in her life..He has a plan for everyone.  Around 4am we were able to get in the apartment to grab some things...I could tell my roommate was really upset.  I gave her a hug and told her it’s going to be ok..I’m not mad.  It was an accident and we’ll get through this.  I think she started to feel a little better.  As we hugged bye for the night I said “Hey” she said “yea?”....I looked at her and smiled “I think your fries are done.”  After all that happened we ended our terrifying night with a smile.
Thank you for all of your phone calls, texts and prayers.  They are appreciated.  And thank you to the Chapel Hill Fire and Police department,  I don’t know what I’d do without you.  And thank you Chapel View Apartment management for trying to accommodate me the best you can during this time.
God is more than Good, He is Awesome!


Thursday, May 26, 2011

Verbal Foreplay

If you’re a regular to my blog you already know that my posts are a reflection of what’s resting on my heart. So naturally at times the posts come across as very “Dear Diary”...if you don’t like these “Dear Diary” type posts let this be a warning to you to skip reading this one and select a different one.

Every time I feel like there is nothing else to write about and I’m done posting to this silly blog, God throws me another loop teaching me yet another lesson, a lesson I can’t help but share. Over the past week and a half, I’ve grown strangely close to someone, someone who was only a stranger 2 weeks ago. I only call it strange because I haven’t gotten so close to someone so quickly before...or have I? Ok I’m done talking in circles...I’ll get to the point now.

So I met this guy..hahaha I met him on route to church via a friend...he rode with us. During this 30 minute or so ride, my friend asked about a situation I had been struggling with and as I was talking about the situation I began to explain it to the guy in the backseat who was listening. I asked him for his opinion from a guys perspective and then we went to church. We didn’t talk about it again until the next week when we went to church again but this time without the mutual friend. On the car ride home, our conversation expanded to other topics and not very light topics but more like life discussions. I poured out my personal thoughts over a period of several hours. I realize now that this probably wasn’t the best idea but at the time I didn’t see the harm. I needed someone to talk to and he was there to listen. I felt comfortable talking with him, it was easy. I can confidently say by the end of the day I felt more attracted to him than I did before all of the talking but that still didn’t prepare me for what he had to say at the end of it all. As we were saying goodbye he said something like “I don’t know what you’re thinking but we should stay friends.” This threw me off completely...I didn’t know what to say...I hadn’t consciously thought that I might be falling for this guy. I hardly knew him..I was just telling him about some things I was struggling with. At that point I hadn’t even thought about wanting to date him...I thought he was strange for saying such a thing.

Well after thinking about it...he was smart...he was only guarding his heart--Protecting him and myself from falling for each other after so much emotional sharing. But how did he know to say this? I can’t be sure but I think he’s probably been in this situation before. This is why girls and guys can’t be friends or at least friends in a way that girls and girls can be. When a guy and a girl have these intimate and emotional discussions they become closer. And it’s not a closer friendship that would develop between two girls but they become closer intimately. I read somewhere that this emotional sharing is like “verbal foreplay.” Let me put it this way 2 girls aren’t going to want to hook up after sharing intimately but when a guy and girl do this, know. Yikes! It causes you to want to be closer to this person. It gives you this pseudo-relationship feeling—this explains wanting to date someone you’ve only known a short time or someone you might not have been attracted to in the first place.

If I’m going to wait for the “right” guy than I have got avoid this “verbal foreplay”. Everything I was feeling and talking about was fine to share (no deep dark secrets or anything) but it would have better been shared with not him but another girl.  Lord, please help me find more girl friends. 

Because of all of this sharing I don’t think I’ll be able to stay “just friends” like he asked...we tried hanging out again and feelings only escalated between the two of us. Too many emotions—sucks being a girl sometimes. However, we might be able to be friendly acquaintances; he really is a great guy with a nice heart. I’ll just have to be more careful with my words next time.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”—Proverbs 4:23

Friday, May 20, 2011

One day He is coming

May 21, 2011
Today I received a text message from someone asking, “So is the world ending tomorrow?” My answer...No.

Tomorrow is May 21, 2011..some people are calling it Judgement Day. They believe that tomorrow will be the beginning of the end of the world. They are saying that at 6pm the rapture will occur (saved people being called to Christ) and the world will end 5 months later destroying everyone who is not called upon. Do I believe any of this? No.

Here is why:

Think about it...this isn’t the first time somebody has predicted the world was going to end? The same guy who predicted this Judgment Day predicted it would happen back in 1994. Did the world end? No. Aren’t we still here? Yes.

I do believe that one day Christ will return for us but I don’t believe that day is tomorrow. No one knows when the coming of the Kingdom will take place. It will be sudden and unexpected. It isn’t a day that can be calculated. I think it’s embarrassing that people even try to do this. We as Christians are supposed to be patient while living our lives with a sense of readiness. Don’t waste your time calculating a day for Christ’s return.

Lets just say Jesus was supposed to return to Earth tomorrow (I suppose it's possible) that people have predicted it be on this particular day I think He would not come just for the reason of prediction. I imagine it like this.. Jesus is supposed to take a business trip to Earth (it couldn’t be a vacation because what’s better than His Kingdom? Nothing). His plans are to bring all of the saved people to God’s Kingdom and He was ready to come...He had his bags packed...but then somebody came along and ruined it. They predicted His return. I think Jesus would be upset that we weren’t patient and would reschedule His business trip. Doesn’t that stink?

All of this prediction stuff is stupid. The coming of God’s Kingdom will come in God’s timing not ours. We do not know more than He and we never will.

All of this hype on Judgment Day is bringing out the crazy in people. I was telling a friend at dinner the other night about this guy who keeps coming into Walgreens professing his love for everyone in the store. He claims to be Jesus reincarnated. When he is telling me all of these crazy coincidences that proves He is Jesus I try not to stare at him with a judgmental look...but that’s difficult...I think he’s crazy. This guy has come into the store several times trying to convince myself and everyone else he is in fact Jesus. When our LORD does come back for us...He will not have to convince us of who He is with all of these crazy stories. We will know. He could just walk into the room and say “I AM” and we’d know. No convincing needed.

I’m sorry this post has been a bit of a rant.

Living He loved me, dying He saved me, buried He carried my sins far away, rising he justified freely forever..One day He is coming, Oh glorious day...what a glorious day it will be. Are you ready?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Warrior Princess--Spiritual Battle

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to live in a perfect world? A world that was all good and no evil. A world where everyone was TRULY treated equally; a world without sin, a world where not only did God know and love us but we ALL knew and loved Him. What an amazing world it would be. I envision it looking something like this..Everything pure, vibrant and beautiful...Rich with the greatest love. Instead, we live in a world corrupted by evil and saturated in sin.

Our world is like this because of the Fall of man. We cannot experience a perfect world because the relationship between man and God was broken in the Garden of Eden. Donald Miller, author of Searching for God Knows What, correlates the Fall of man with a war. In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were attacked (deceived) by Satan. This was the only war that will ever be truly good versus evil. All other battles are complicated. Adam and Eve were tricked into thinking they wanted something they couldn’t have. When we are deceived, we make bad decisions. It’s as simple as that.

Because man had sinned against God, He had to break the relationship between them. This explains why we struggle in our day to day lives now. This is why we have insecure feelings and experience shame, jealousy, envy, lust...etc. This is why we are constantly comparing ourselves with each other. We are searching for that security we lost when man sinned against God. This seems so unfair but that’s life.

So it is inevitable that we are going to have these insecure feelings but what do we do to try and prevent them? We have a spiritual battle. When you are feeling insecure, falling victim to lust, experiencing envy or sense jealousy creeping upon you, go to His word for guidence.  Pray for strength, express your need for Him and your love for your Savior.  Thats what I do.  Evil is out there roaming just as it was in the Garden of Eden and we have to stick close to God. Cling to Him.  He will light a path for us and all we have to do is love Him, trust Him, obey and follow. This is much easier said than done because we as humans are gullible and easily deceived.

I’m going to insert a work story here. I know I’m always talking about my experiences at work but that’s where I spend the majority of my time these days haha. In case you weren’t aware, Walgreens carries a little bit of everything...I think it’s like a mini Wal-Mart or something. You wouldn’t think a drug store would sell fresh fruit but surprise we do! Well my store is currently having issues communicating with our fruit vender. He’s pretty unreliable when it comes to exchanging the old fruit for fresh fruit. This is frustrating because we advertise fresh fruit not overly-ripe-good-for-baking fruit. Well the other day I was staring at the overly ripe bananas with 2 of my managers..we were deciding if we should leave them out for the fruit guy to come pick up or just dispose of them. (We are supposed to wait for the vender so we can get credit for the fruit we don’t sell). One of my managers expressed his concern that if we waited too much longer to dispose of them we’d have fruit flies. Me, being the inquisitive person that I am, asked how we’d get fruit flies in the store...I wanted to know where they would come from. Well my manager looked at me with a straight face and told me that Fruit flies lay their eggs in young fruit and when the fruit becomes ripe enough, which is overly ripe for people, the eggs hatch...the fruit flies come from the fruit itself. I had no idea he wasn’t being serious..I totally believed it and was completely grossed out and swore off ever eating fruit again...haha I’m a pretty intelligent girl but boy am I gullible. If one of my managers could trick me so easily just think how easy it is for Satan to deceive me. It’s scary to think about.

We are highly susceptible to sin and if we choose to go against God, we will surely fall prey to Satan. We will be engulfed by bitter feelings and suffer from the absence of our Father. But if we choose to be warriors for God and trust in Him, we can fight against evil and experience everlasting love. Who’s side are you on?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Giving Thanks (Disney)

If you’re looking for a short’re reading the wrong blog! I can’t do it...I’ve tried...They just keep getting longer and longer. I just have too much to say :) If I keep going at this rate I’ll have to make part 1 and part 2 haha

I suck at intros so I’m going to just jump right in. Today, while I was contemplating life at an empty pool I decided I needed to quit thinking so much (my brain hurt) and just talk to God. I make an effort to talk to God everyday but today my conversation with Him was a little different. I didn’t pray for strength, nor did I ask for help putting others first. I didn’t ask Him for patience or to protect my heart...Today I asked Him for nothing...instead I thanked Him. I told Him of all the things I am grateful for. You see, God isn’t a genie..and if all we do is talk to Him when we need or want something, we are simply asking him to grant us our wishes. But you see God isn’t our Genie, He is much more than that..He is our Father and we are His children. Children thank their fathers for what they are grateful for and so today I told my Father exactly what it is I’m grateful for and then thanked Him for it :) I’m going to share with you one of the things I’m most thankful.

The Disney College Program.

I first applied to the program as a back-up for Grad school. I didn’t think I’d actually go because I was sure I’d be on my way to earning a Master’s degree in Speech Therapy come August. However, I was wrong..when it came acceptance time I wasn’t accepted into a single school that had a program which I thought was right for me. I was upset but I had that’s where I went in August. I didn’t know it at the time but something in that college program was going to change me, change my life. God had it all figured out and I just didn’t see it coming. He knew that I’d go to grad school one day but it wouldn’t be in my time it would be in His. I first needed to learn and grow from my experience in Florida. I can honestly say that I am a completely different person after Disney than I was before and I can also say that I’m still changing and I am not the same as I was during the program. Each day I’m evolving more and more into the young woman God created me to be. So what happened in Florida that caused my life to change so dramatically??

The answer is..I’m not sure. It could have been the job I had or the wonderful people I met or even a combination of the two. I’m leaning towards the latter. All I know is that for the first time in my life I truly LOVED my job. Not one day did it feel just like a job, it felt so much more rewarding than work. How does Disney get their cast members (employees) to feel like this? Is it magic? Is it a brainwashing mechanism? No. I’ll let you in on a Disney secret. It starts in their Traditions class. Traditions is a training class that all cast members attend to learn the Disney culture. This is where we learn that we aren’t employees but cast members and we’re all part of the show.

“You can dream, create, design and build the most wonderful place in the world...but it requires people to make the dream a reality”—Walt Disney.

For the first time I felt needed, included and work was fulfilling. I wasn’t just dancing around for nothing...I was creating happiness by providing the finest in entertainment for people of all ages everywhere. (I put that line on my resume hahaha) Disney CEO’s don’t just tell us really is true. I can remember the first child I met who was bald from a battle with cancer. When he went up to meet Donald Duck he had the biggest smile on his face. I could tell he had no care in the world other than playing with Donald. This kind of thing makes my eyes can a child be so sick yet so happy? I was helping make this kid’s dream come true. Now thats rewarding and thats why work never felt like work. I’m unbelievably grateful for my job at Disney because I’ve brought some of the same principles back to my job at Walgreens. Although, I don’t enjoy my job at Walgreens as much as mine at Disney, I don’t hate it like I did before. Instead of looking at it as just a job I try to look at it as a way of helping people in my community. I help them capture and save memories in the photolab, provide a listening ear in cosmetics, and help the get well and stay well with our services in the pharmacy. This outlook on the job makes it more rewarding and slightly more enjoyable. In fact, I can see my improvement as I was awarded a customer service star for excellent customer service this past week. My customers are even noticing that I like my job at least a little bit...haha...

In addition to being grateful for my job at Disney I’m also thankful, if not more thankful, for the wonderful people I met down there.

Let me tell you about a few of the people I met and why I’m thankful for them:

My training group (Tiffany, Joe, Alyssa, Kartez, Hannah, Elizabeth) —these kids almost died with me the first week of work. We were absolutely exhausted but had so much fun.

Arianna-- My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after I arrived in Florida. I was naturally very upset and it showed. I was blown away by the kindness and thoughtfulness of this girl. At the time, I didn’t know Arianna very well but after hearing about my mother’s battle she showed the greatest sympathy and provided a listening ear. Whenever she saw me at work she’d ask me how my mother was comforting to know that someone who knew so little about me could care so much.

Jack—He lived across the hall from me and we’d talk about the girl and boy drama in our lives. I’m not sure we ever helped each other but it was nice to have an opinion from someone of the opposite sex.

Amy—I’m thankful for such a great roomie. We didn’t always see eye to eye but that girl dealt with “Samantha mood-swings” so well. She put up with me when I went on crazy cleaning frenzies. She laughed at me when I had an epic romantic comedy movie moment the night of formal. (imagine girl jumping giddy in circles and then tripping over her own feet, falling and landing face first in the bed) was funny and a little embarrassing. She also didn’t judge me for dancing in my socks around the living room to Fantasia.

Alyssa--I’ve told you all about Alyssa before and how we are twins. I miss this girl so much. We met in training and have been best of buds (yes I did say that) ever since. Whenever I’m really missing Disney I can call her and she’ll talk to me about Disney as much as I’m willing to listen.

Branden—my workout buddy. This kid showed me that spontaneity (in moderation) in one’s life is a good thing. Even though we were always arguing we had fun doing stuff together (as long as we didn’t plan for it) hahah.

Josh—This guy put up with my late night visits, willingly sat through The Little Mermaid with me (not a lot of guys will do that), and taught me it’s ok to be different.

Not only were these kids my friends, they were my comforters and my teachers. I miss them all.  Can you tell the my post Disney depression is at an all time high? haha

I’m so very grateful that God gave me the courage to experience Disney through the College Program and blessed me with the opportunity to meet so many great people.

Here are some of my favorite Disney memories revisited: 
**For those of you checking back I added music and a few more memories :)

Even though I’m far away...I still feel the magic.

ºoº .•:*¨¨*:•.Samantha.•:*¨¨*:•. ºoº (I love it when I get to use this signature)

Monday, May 9, 2011

No, Wait, Patience

“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”

I still don’t have it...

“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”
“No, Wait, Patience”

Sigh....If I don’t hate these 3 words..I really dislike them. I dislike them because I know their meaning but I can’t seem to listen to what they are telling me. I’m writing this blog in hopes that repeating myself over and over again will help it sink in. But I’m so bad with these words I may need more discipline..discipline similar to the discipline Harry Potter receives from Professor Umbridge in book 5. If you’re not a Harry Potter fan and have no idea what I’m talking about here is a fun link for you

ok thats a little creepy...and I do deserve to be punished but Jesus paid for my sins in full on the cross. No need to inflict self injury but I do need to learn to listen to these 3 words “No, Wait, and Patience.” I’m such an impatient person and I know I’m not alone...I feel like society tries to make us that way. When everything is about speed and convenience there is no need for patience. Think about it...When is the last time you skipped the drive thru to go inside and wait (gasp) in line to order food? Although I don’t personally drive through drive thrus, I used to love going with friends to McDonald’s back when they had the drive thru was something ridiculous like have your food in 2 minutes or its free...we we’re always trying to race that timer to score a free burger. Or what about the mail...have you skipped sending a letter or card via air-mail because you consider it “snail-mail.” You want that message delivered right then and there so you skip the stamp, email it and then wait impatiently for a response. We are all guilty of impatience.

Today I was working in the photo lab at work where we advertise that you can have your photos in 1 hr. That’s pretty speedy...but not quick enough for today’s society. A customer inserted her flash drive into the photo kiosk and then selected some photos to be printed, entered a coupon code and hit submit order. After submitting the order she sat there staring at the screen looking very confused so I walked over to ask her if I could help her with anything. She said, “Yes. I just completed my order but I don’t have my pictures. They didn’t print out. I think the machine is jammed.” It was really difficult for me not to laugh...I apologized and then explained to her that the photos are sent to my computer and then I would print them for her. I was going to tell her they’d be ready in 15 minutes but before I could she said “Well I need them now! Can you print them now? It’s Mother’s Day and I have to have them now!” At that point, I really wanted to point out that it was a 1 hour photo lab not an instant photo lab, but I didn’t...I printed her photos in less than 15 minutes. But do you see how impatient she was? Why should that impatience be rewarded? It shouldn’t be.

I experienced this same kind of scenario while working at Disney. Everyone wanted to meet Mickey and Minnie but no one wanted to wait in line to meet them. One day I was hanging out with the Boss (Mickey Mouse—for those of you who don’t know Disney lingo), when a group of girls approached the attendant (the person in charge of the line) and said “we are athletes, can we skip the line?” hahahah umm no. you have to wait to meet Mickey just like everyone else. Did you know they give out fast passes to meet Mickey and Minnie now? So impatient...

So those are some fun little examples of impatience in the service industry but what happens when being impatient gets personal?? Unfortunately that’s what happened to me tonight. I was impatient and potentially ruined a possible friendship. I’ve been asking this person the same question repeatedly over the past week and instead of patiently waiting for a response I pushed, poked and squeezed at them until they exploded with a no. Imagine squeezing a balloon slowly until it eventually pops...thats me being impatient testing my boundaries. Bad idea.

Joshua 14:6-15  (this is a should read it on your own)

The Lord kept Caleb alive and well for 45 years to fulfill a promise. A promise of inherited land....Caleb could have chosen to be impatient and try to claim his promised land before God’s time but instead he waited on God.   The lesson here is God rewards those who are patient and wait.

I want to be patient for God and wait for his promises for me. But how am I supposed to do this when I’m being so impatient? I can’t. Would their answer have been yes if I hadn’t been so impatient for an probably not. But it could have prevented the explosion and kept hurtful feelings occurring from things being said and not said (sometimes lack of words hurts more). Am I sorry about how I handled the situation and hurt by the fact I may have ruined a possible friendship? Yes. Am I going to be a girl and cry about it? Maybe. Am I going to dwell on it? No. I am going to learn from my mistakes. I am a Christian, follower of Jesus, I am meant to be different...I will stand out from society’s impatient ways.

God will teach me patience when I ask for it and I’m asking for it now. I am thankful to my Father for not allowing me to go to bed tonight feeling hurt and angry but encouraged by the lessons he has to teach me. I pray for the strength to be patient and wait for what He has in store for me. Let me be less impatient with my family, friends and even enemies.

Patience is a virtue and I'm ready to add it to my Pearl Necklace

I dislike learning lessons the hard way...sigh....

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Good Deeds

I was going to wait and write this tomorrow as I am super tired, Wednesdays are my longest days starting at 8am and ending at 11pm. But of course I’m restless and will continue to be so until this is completed so here goes nothing.

Today shortly after I got to work I noticed an iphone4 sitting on the counter in the photolab. I assumed it belonged to a coworker until Kevin (a guy who works in the photolab) told me that it was left by a customer earlier in the day. I asked if anyone tried to find the owner of the phone and he said “no I don’t know how...we afterall do have their phone.” I thought about it for a moment and then grabbed the phone and went through the contacts. I know the feeling of losing an iphone and its not a good one! I didn’t have to search long until I found one labeled “mom.” I told Kevin I was going to text the owners mom and tell her I have their child’s phone...Kevin laughed at me but it was a better idea than just letting the phone sit there all day.

So I texted the mom and said something like “This is Samantha from Walgreen’s, I think I have your child’s is our store number please have them come in and claim it.” I kid you not, not even 2 minutes later the store’s phone was ringing and it was for me...and on the other line was an exceedingly thankful mother. She explained to me that it was her daughter’s phone and that she seems to lose it a lot but its normally a lot more difficult to track down. She thanked me for my honesty and for trying to find its owner and then told me I was the smartest girl she knew for thinking to text her about it. (I highly doubt I’m the smartest person she knows...I’m not that smart. I was just doing what I’d want someone to do if I lost my iphone) She said that she’d try to contact some of her daughter’s friends to let her daughter know about the phone. I don’t know how it came up but she explained to me that her daughter was member of Kappa Kappa Gamma...I told the mom that I was also a Kappa and although I’ve never met her daughter (I’m graduated) I’d be happy to drop it off at the sorority house on my way home if she wasn’t able to reach her...Talk about going above and beyond for a customer. I’d try to find the owner for any phone but I’d probably only deliver it to a sister :)

So anyways..I did my good Samaritan deed for the day and I felt really good about it. It acually made my day. 

Later, a guy came in and was purchasing some vitamins...he said he was under the impression that they were buy 1 get 1 free and wanted to make sure they were on sale. I rang up the items to find out that only one was ringing on sale. I told him that and he said “well what does that mean?”...I looked at him for a moment picked up the bottles and said “well it means this one is on sale and this one isn’t” hahahaha ooops. I apologized for the sarcasm and then gave him the explanation he wanted. He decided to go ahead and get both of them and left. (sorry this is getting long..that wasn’t relevant I just thought it was a funny mistake of mine)---but i do have a point keep reading.

Well not even 5 minutes later he came back into the store and got back in my line...I thought maybe he decided he didn’t need both bottles afterall and was going to return one, but to my surprise he placed two pieces of string cheese on the counter. I said something like “interesting selection, forget your snack?” and he said “No actually I’m getting this for the homeless man outside. He asked me for it and I thought why not.” This blew my mind, this guy was a nice guy doing a nice thing for another person. I told him that its nice to see people be good Samaritans and that I think everyone should make an effort to do at least one good deed for another person each day. I told him how I returned a cell phone earlier and felt really good about it. Then the customer behind the string cheese kid said “I agree with you! I paid for someone’s parking today” wow..just wow. There are still good people out there.

So I think I lied...i don’t think there is a point to this blog other than it feels really good to do a good deed for someone else. And when someone does a good deed for us, instead of overly thanking them...thank them kindly once and then pay it forward! Do another good deed for someone else who may need your help. That to me is the best thank you gift. Because the owner of this iphone is a member of my sorority I’m going to ask her to pay it forward. I didn’t think about it in the store but I have the opportunity to ask her to now. Just think about what the world would be like if everyone paid it forward. Returning a cell phone, buying string cheese for the homeless, and paying for someones parking may seem small but it made someone else's life that much easier. Go out of your way to do something nice for someone today...I promise you’ll feel really good about it. I know I did :)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

To My Closest Friends

This post is for my closest friends; they know who they are. Today after church, I went to a friend’s house that I haven’t really been able to spend much time with due to busy schedules, to catch up. She wasn’t expecting me and was just about to jump in the shower so I told her it was fine and to go ahead and finish getting ready. I walked over to the couch to sit down when her boyfriend asked if I was coming from church as I was still in my dress. I said “yes” and then sat down and started looking through a magazine. Then something happened that I’ve kicked myself for all afternoon. He asked me what the service was about and I just froze. I couldn’t tell him anything. And it wasn’t because I hadn’t paid attention because I paid thorough attention and even took notes. I sat there frozen for a few reasons. One, I knew he was a nonbeliever and wasn’t expecting his interest but the main reason I was lost for words was because I was afraid of rejection. I gave him a very generic overview of the service...and I mean very generic...something like “God is generous to me and I should be generous to others.” Instead, I should have told him that the service was about how God does great things for us and that these things are a gift he has given us that we cannot repay him for. However we can use God’s gift to serve others and welcome strangers....That would have been a much better response than the one I provided, but I was afraid.

This was the first time I’ve spent time in their apartment since returning from Florida. I was afraid if I went on and on and talked about church they’d think I had turned into a “pushy Christian” or think that I thought more of myself, resulting in them not wanting to hang out anymore. Rejection hurts and I do not wish to be rejected by the friends I love. It’s strange because at work I talk about God and my faith so openly but around my friends I can clam up. And I think it’s because I’m closer to my friends, I love my friends, I don’t want to lose them...

Thinking back to the situation, I handled it wrong. I should have embraced the opportunity to share the Gospel with a nonbeliever who is also a friend. Not to try and force him to believe but to share with him the great things the Gospel has done for me. It was silly to fear rejection because even if I would have lost a friendship (that wouldn’t have happened, my friends are better than that) but hypothetically if I lost their friendship I would not be alone because God has promised to never leave me.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

I will not be rejected by the eyes of my God :)

This is a note to my closest friends...I know you’ve noticed a dramatic change in me recently. You’d be blind not to see that. I’m shining brighter than ever and overflowing with my love for Jesus. Please don’t feel uncomfortable around me. It’s still me Samantha...little Sammy D, just a new and improved version. I love you all, believer or non-believer, it doesn’t mean the world to me. I value your friendship and am not here to force you into believing or pushing you to church...I’m here to show you how God has intervened in my life and all of the great things that have come from that.

My life is leverage for God’s kingdom.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Royal Wedding

The Royal Wedding is all over the news. It’s almost impossible to avoid. Why are so many girls obsessed with this wedding? With all of this talk about Kate’s dress, the food, the flowers, the wedding bands, how cute they look together know it’s an obsession with a fairytale wedding. Every little girl grows up wanting to be a princess and dreaming of their wedding day. A few years ago I had everything picked out, from my wedding dress, to the flowers all the way down to the cake topper, all before I was ever even engaged. I share this because I know I’m not alone. A lot of girls fantasize about these things and they also fantasize about the man they will marry. Some girls start fantasizing about their wedding on a first date.

I’m going out on a limb here and risk being criticized for this...but I’m going to say it anyways. I’ve had a change of heart and I think this fantasizing is wrong. It is rushing God’s timing for us. For those dating or in relationships, fantasizing about a wedding before an engagement is focusing on a future potential of a relationship rather than the growing of a present relationship. And for those who are single like myself, instead of planning your wedding day you should be spending your time carefully thinking about the kind of person you want to marry. And don’t hunt for them but wait for God to deliver them to you. I myself struggle with this so I’ve spent the past few days declining princess party invitations to watch the royal wedding and thinking about what I want in my “prince charming” and in a relationship. And not so shocking...what I want now is NOT what I wanted even a year ago.

A year ago, it was all about me. I wanted to be the center of attention...when in a relationship I wanted everything the guy did to be done for me. Not only did I want him to be cute, funny, and nice I wanted him to do anything I said the moment I said it. My parents always told me it’d take a very special guy to be with me. I preferred that the guys I dated not work so when I wanted to hang out he’d be free. It makes my stomach churn writing about it, but it’s true, that’s how I worked. I don’t think I could have been anymore selfish. Well that was the old me, as mentioned in a previous post (Pearl Necklace) I have confessed I was selfish and have asked for forgiveness and now the new me is headed in the opposite direction. I’m raising my standards.

So what does my “prince” look like? Well I don’t know I haven’t met him yet. But I can tell you what I want his inside to look like. These aren’t in any particular order...I’m just rambling them out.

1. Jesus should be number one in his life. I am not the top priority nor do I want to be. And I want to be able to see that Jesus comes first without asking.

2. He won’t rush God’s timing. If I’m going to wait, he should wait to..its the right way to develop a healthy relationship. He won’t be impulsive but patient.

3. Understands emotions and feelings. I am a super emotional girl and I want a guy who can be gentle, kind, compassionate, and sensitive.

4. Avoids temptations and morally sound. I want to do the right thing, and want him to want the same.

5. He should be willing to talk about faith with me. I like talking and have more to talk about than how my day went and current events

6. Want to have a job.... hahaha I know my mom is shouting “finally!” I don’t want to be on top of the guy I date anymore. I need my own quiet time and so does he.

I am complete in Jesus therefore do not need a guy to complete me but to complement me.

I told you I was raising my standards :) It almost seems like this guy couldn’t possibly exist. But I know in my heart God has a perfect plan for me.  I might have to wait 10 years but that is ok because while single I have more time for devotion.  Along with joy, family brings chaos.

I shouldn’t think of my wedding day until I am engaged, not before. For me, the one who bought a million books on weddings and used to be obsessed with everything wedding; not dreaming of my wedding day and the man I’ll marry is a difficult challenge. At this point in time I think watching the royal wedding will only hurt my efforts, so I’ll avoid it for now.

If it is in His plan, I’ll one day have a royal wedding of my own. Until then I’m raising my standards, guarding my heart, and leaving the rest to God :)


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Pearl Necklace

As I sit down to write this it is just turning midnight...4 hours from now and I’ll have been up 24 hours. I’m sleepy but not as tired as you’d think I’d be. I woke up this morning at 4am from a restless sleep. With nothing better to do I began to read. I didn’t have to work today so all I did was read and write, read and write...all day long...My friends are studying for finals right now and today I felt like I was studying as well. But studying the Bible? Huh? Rewind to a year ago and I would have told you, you were crazy to think such a thing. Haha well around 10 am I took a break and came across this Poem about a pearl. This poem has sat with me all day so I feel like I’m supposed to share it with you all so I can finally get some sleep!

The Pearl

In every oyster there lies the ability
to produce something rare.
Truth like a grain of sand
will produce
the pearl that is hidden there.

Young woman you are often mocked
and scorned.
And told you never should have
been born.
You want to run away, to hide your hurt.
Your heart is wounded, bleeding
and torn.

God makes not mistakes
every life is special,
every life is planned.
Seeds can sprout in sand.

Open yourselves up to the Spirit
of God
Grow in grace and maturity
Be what He wants you to be
Your beauty your strength lies deep
within you.

Young woman, young girl,
open yourselves up to God.
Allow Him to reveal your pearl.

Sylvia Hannah

So application time. I’ve had help with this one so I cannot take all of the credit but here is what I have to share. Ladies the pearl represents our virtue, our godly character. I personally love pearls, probably more than diamonds...future husband if you are reading this take note..haha I have several pearl necklaces...some are real and some are just imitations. I like them all but the imitation pearl necklaces can be frustrating because that have to be replaced every so often. The fake pearls are merely beads with a pearl appearance and overtime they become dull as the paint rubs off. Real pearls do not do this, they keep their flawless pearl luster for a very long time. One pearl necklace of mine was passed down to me from my Great-grandmother and it still looks great :) Back to the application now...

Lets say that we all have our own pearl necklace to string. The real pearls represent godly characteristics that make us virtuous. Characteristics in this category are ones like love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness...etc. And the imitation pearls represent ungodly characteristics such as immorality, impurity, self-centeredness, jealousy, anger, envy...etc. Which pearls do you want on your necklace? The real ones right? Yeah me too!

However, if you’re like me your necklace probably doesn’t have just the real thing it’s probably a mixture of pearls and beads. I know I currently have more beads than I’d like to on my necklace. But it isn’t the end of the world, there is still hope. God is hope. With his help we can restring our necklaces one pearl at a time. We simply have to remove the unwanted bead, confess the sin that created the ungodly characteristic we want to be rid of and ask for forgiveness. God will forgive us. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” 1 John 1:9.

Once the bead is removed we can replace it with a pearl, a godly characteristic. However, virtue comes with time, we have to work hard for it but God will help. Take it one bead at a time. I am personally working on removing my self-centeredness bead. In the past I have been guilty of thinking of only myself. I am now working on putting others before me. For example, while my sister was here she wanted to dye Easter eggs. I personally have the attention span of a 2 year old when it comes to things like decorating a Christmas tree or dying eggs. I’ll hang one ornament or dye one egg and then I’m bored and done with it. My sister had left her money in the car while we were walking around downtown but I could tell she wanted to dye eggs. If it was up to me I would have seen it as sign we didn’t need to dye eggs and just save the money. However, thinking of her before myself, we walked to the store and I purchased the stuff to dye eggs for her. Thoughtful right?

Well don’t applaud me just yet. Haha because not even 10 minutes later we walked across the street to Starbucks and there I ordered a drink and didn’t even think to ask her if she wanted anything until after I handed the clerk my money. Not so thoughtful. I did tell her I’d buy her a drink if she wanted one but she politely declined so we left. Even though I offered to buy her a drink afterwards I still thought of myself see it’s a struggle. I know this example seems very trivial but it’s about the baby steps. With baby steps and God’s guidance I’ll get there and will be able to replace that bead with a shiny pearl :) I want to be a lady of virtue so I’m restringing my pearl necklace one pearl at a time; are you?