Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I Am Second

I was just telling my roommate that I’ve been itching to write in this blog.  There is so much I want to blog about, my love hate relationship with neuro, the wedding I attended on Sat, my birthday on Sunday, the I Am Second movement etc.  However, if I wrote out everything I wanted to share I’d definitely lose your attention as it would go on and on.  I had no idea what to pick to blog about so I just opened to the verse of the day in my You Version Bible app (probably one of my most useful and favorite apps on my phone) and read  “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew6:33).   This verse spoke volumes to me and I think in a way it incorporates all of the above topics.

So I’ll start off by saying that this past weekend was awesome!  A much needed break from the dreaded neuro class.  One of my friends from the AuD program got married in Orlando.  I along with several others went to celebrate with her.  I had so much fun, the photobooth and dancing was a blast.   My friend was absolutely beautiful on her wedding day, and both the ceremony and parts of the reception made me teary eyed.  Kelly and Carlos looked perfect for each other and so in love.  I couldn’t help but dream about experiencing love like that one day.  I had to constantly remind myself that it’s in God’s hands not mine.  I have to learn to wait on him…I assure you it’s a constant struggle in my boy crazed world.  Anyways…at midnight I turned 24 :)

Sunday morning (my birthday), we drove back to Gainesville super early so I wouldn’t miss church on my birthday.  As most of you know, Kelsey and I, go to the same church but our other roommate usually sleeps in…well this week she surprised me with coming to church with us!  What an awesome birthday present :)    We all had a nice lunch after church followed with more awesome surprises and gifts. 

The tag that came with these shorts does not lie.
          Two people today asked or made a comment on the logo.
I think my favorite gift this year came from my mom. (Thanks mama!) She sent me these running shorts.  They’re absolutely perfect!  These are not just any old running shorts but very special ones.   They come from the I Am Second movement.  It’s a constant reminder that I am indeed second.  So who is first?  Christ.  I find it really easy to think about me, talk about me…I can be really vain sometimes caught up in all of my accomplishments.  I also sometimes catch myself feeling envious of what others have.  Not a good feeling.  Instead of working so hard to achieve my every desire, I need to be focused on God’s wants for my life.  Now back to Matthew 6:33 (I told you it pulls it all together)  seeking his kingdom first will bring much greater things than I could ever provide for myself.  If you remember from my, I am not a runner, post I don’t run for me; I run to intentionally make room for Christ in my life.  It’s difficult to stay focused on living Second but my runs help me carry my cross daily. 

I encourage you all to check out I Am Second to discover what it means to be Second.  For me, it’s putting God before all my needs, wants and desires…doing everything first and foremost for His glory.  He is my rock, my provider, my everything :)

This is the first “I Am Second” video I ever watched and it still sends chills through my spine. 


Saturday, July 21, 2012

A Fish Out of Water

Lately in class, I’ve been feeling like a fish out of water.  I just don’t understand neuroscience..Im convinced my brain just doesn’t work that way.  I failed my first test last week scoring a whopping 65.  For someone like myself with a Type A personality, this is very stressful.  I don’t think I’ve failed a test before well besides the zero I took on a test in Intro to Rock music sophomore year.  No worries, I overslept and missed the test…I actually do know a bit about rock music but we can talk Nirvana, Elvis, and Metallica some other time.  I’m pretty sure all of my classmates with the exception of 1 or 2 are Type A people as well.  We all strive to do well, and have done well, or we wouldn’t be in this program in the first place.  Even though we’re repeatedly told that GPAs no longer matter we all want A’s.  B’s disappoint us, C’s make us anxious, and D’s and F’s…well that’s a stomach ulcer and a punch to the gut all at the same time.  So you can imagine how I felt when I saw that 65 after studying so hard…like a failure.  A fish out of water trying to survive.

Today while studying, I was reminded that a failure is an event, never a person.  This is so true.  To be a failure as a person I’d have to define myself by my performances and that is not want I want to do.  God accepts me not because I score perfectly on all of my tests but because I’m in need of Him.  (Matthew 5:3) Even though I complain about it often, I strangely like this class because it is a constant reminder that I am not perfect and that is more than ok.  I don’t have to be perfect.  This class is just a season…not even a season…more like a week of bad weather in my life and it shall pass. By the grace of God I know I’ll get through it :)  Now I’m going to dive back into the brain…wish me luck!  18 more days until this insanity ends!

On another positive note my birthday is in 8 days!! It’s not like I’ll be doing anything super exciting with all of this brain stuff on my plate but I’ll take the time to enjoy a cupcake :)

I’m going to be an awesome neurosurgeon one day..Ha JOKE