Saturday, July 21, 2012

A Fish Out of Water

Lately in class, I’ve been feeling like a fish out of water.  I just don’t understand neuroscience..Im convinced my brain just doesn’t work that way.  I failed my first test last week scoring a whopping 65.  For someone like myself with a Type A personality, this is very stressful.  I don’t think I’ve failed a test before well besides the zero I took on a test in Intro to Rock music sophomore year.  No worries, I overslept and missed the test…I actually do know a bit about rock music but we can talk Nirvana, Elvis, and Metallica some other time.  I’m pretty sure all of my classmates with the exception of 1 or 2 are Type A people as well.  We all strive to do well, and have done well, or we wouldn’t be in this program in the first place.  Even though we’re repeatedly told that GPAs no longer matter we all want A’s.  B’s disappoint us, C’s make us anxious, and D’s and F’s…well that’s a stomach ulcer and a punch to the gut all at the same time.  So you can imagine how I felt when I saw that 65 after studying so hard…like a failure.  A fish out of water trying to survive.

Today while studying, I was reminded that a failure is an event, never a person.  This is so true.  To be a failure as a person I’d have to define myself by my performances and that is not want I want to do.  God accepts me not because I score perfectly on all of my tests but because I’m in need of Him.  (Matthew 5:3) Even though I complain about it often, I strangely like this class because it is a constant reminder that I am not perfect and that is more than ok.  I don’t have to be perfect.  This class is just a season…not even a season…more like a week of bad weather in my life and it shall pass. By the grace of God I know I’ll get through it :)  Now I’m going to dive back into the brain…wish me luck!  18 more days until this insanity ends!

On another positive note my birthday is in 8 days!! It’s not like I’ll be doing anything super exciting with all of this brain stuff on my plate but I’ll take the time to enjoy a cupcake :)

I’m going to be an awesome neurosurgeon one day..Ha JOKE


Andi said...

Ugh. That's the one part of college that I don't miss - tests! Believe it or not, I miss studying and homework and tests.....I'm a dork.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I nominated your blog for an award. Stop by my page to pick it up :)

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