I'm Not a Runner

Luke 9:23 has been pressing on my heart lately.  In this verse, Jesus extends an invitation to follow him.

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”

This means I must empty myself of me and fill myself with the Holy Spirit.  In the Old Testament, God is with us but, in the New Testament, God is in us. 

“But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away.  Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will end him to you.” (John 16:7)

Jesus had to leave this Earth so that God could be in us.

And now the Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in us.  How amazing is that?!

Jesus tells us to take up our cross daily and follow him.  The cross was a symbol of humiliation, suffering and death.  By agreeing to take up our cross we are agreeing to die daily.  Each day I must die to myself so that I can be filled with the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is what gives me strength to get through each and every day.

So what does it look like to die daily?  Good question.  I’ve been wondering myself how can I totally rid me of myself each day so that I can find true life?  I think a good way to start each day is by filling myself with the Holy Spirit so I wanted it to be something I did first thing in the morning.  I wanted time for just God and me; a time I knew no one else would bother me.  That time is sunrise. The birth of each day is the death of me, and my decision to let go of control so I can be filled with the Spirit.  

To me dying daily sounds like torture.  So, for me dying daily is running at sunrise and spending time with God before, during and after my run.  Running is not a favorite past time for me.  It takes effort that I don’t always want to put forth.  I like to stay in shape but I’d much rather attend a group exercise class or work on strength training.  Alone I wouldn’t be able to get up each morning and run…I wouldn’t run more than 1 mile for myself but for Him I’d run an endless distance.  This is how I empty myself of me each day..I run.   Truthfully at the end of most of my runs I’m absolutely exhausted—my muscles ache but it’s worth it.  It’s worth it, because as I experience exhaustion I also feel relaxed and free.  Free to start my day filled with God in me :)  I wouldn’t be able to do this without Him.

This was in my devotional the morning after my first run.

God’s word for you today:  Your worst day with God will be better than your best day without Him.  The Holy Spirit is here to speak to you and help you in every way you need help today.

I wasn’t expecting this at all but it couldn’t have been more perfect :)  Moments like these increase my faith exponentially.

My runs are getting easier and definitely more enjoyable than when I first started.  I’ve also noticed that I’m genuinely in a better mood each day I run.  It is so uplifting.. I now understand that dying to myself is the secret to really living.   

Through death, the cross that represented guilt, condemnation, suffering, and death now represents grace, freedom, hope, and life. 

My prayer is that we will take up our cross and die daily.  I believe it’s the only way to really follow Jesus. 

Spiritual Gifts

Spiritual gifts are something I’ve been thinking about for the past 9 months or so.  More specifically I’ve been asking myself what are the gifts that God has given me?   I remember going on a walk with Kelsey when we were still getting to know each other and asking her about spiritual gifts.  Neither of us were sure as to what our gifts were at the time but after much thought and prayer I think I now have an idea. 

The Bible mentions several spiritual gifts: faith, healing, prophecy, tongues, and even interpretation of tongues.

1 Corinthians 12:9-10

I’m not sure that my gift is any of those but I do believe my blog is tool for one of my gifts.  I think I have a way of reaching people through my blogs.  I must selfishly admit I may write these posts for myself to express my feelings at the time but I hope it speaks to others as well.  By providing a written testimony of what God has presented to me through trails and triumphs, I pray I’m bringing others closer to Him as well.  I believe spiritual gifts allow us to carry out God’s work. 

Another thing I’ve been thinking and even touched slightly on in a previous post, Compartmentalizing Faith, is how God calls us to our secular jobs in the lines of our gifts.  I want to go more into detail now as to what this means to me. 

In Ephesians 4, apostle Paul talks about how some of us are called to be teachers of God’s people to do work that builds up the body of Christ. 

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.  Ephesians 4:11-13

Ok It’s about to get weird now.  But what if we think of this in a literal since?  What I mean is what if we think that we all are actually a body part of Christ created to carry out a specific function within the body.  Every body part is just as important as the next because they are all needed to make up the whole. (see 1 Corinthians 12) So incorporating spiritual gifts, our gifts are not meant for ourselves but are meant to benefit the entire group or body.  Each person has a unique gift that helps build up the body of Christ. 

This may be cheesy but I think I may be the ear in the body of Christ.  Going to school for Audiology it just makes the most sense right? Haha I think God created me with the brains and willpower to make it through this program so I can help others with their hearing issues.  God gave me the passion I have for this field.  It is in all of my intentions to use the gifts He has given me for His glory :)

I borrowed/stole this picture from a guy from church's twitter account.  A bunch of us hanging out and chatting.  I <3 Instagram

  

Community

Sunday was the perfect day.  I was in such a good mood all day.  The weather was amazing and it turned out to be a very productive day for me.  I went to the Rivercross church for the second time, caught up with a friend from UNC and completed 1.5 projects that are on my never ending to do list. 

In my last post I mentioned how seeking community in the church has been a focus of mine, well I think I’ve finally found a good starting point.  The past 9 months I’ve been hopping church to church trying to find someplace I fit in.  I think I must have been pretty lucky to find a church so quickly in Chapel Hill (once I started looking) because it’s been a lot harder here.  When I first moved to Gainesville I was trying really hard to find a group of people I could connect to in the Christian community, but when I didn’t find anything right away I became discouraged. 

Well a few weeks ago, I told my roommate that I wanted to become more serious about this search.  I needed to make it a priority.  Last week we visited Rivercross Baptist Church and liked it very much.  It’s smaller (like a Gilmore girls Stars Hollow kind of feel) and the people seemed to be connected more so than I’ve observed in previous churches.  I really liked that.  Before the service started a lot of people were gathered around a table set up with muffins, coffee cake, pastries and coffee chatting.  It looked really nice so, guess what Kelsey and I did?  We avoided that muffin table at all costs. We bee-lined straight to the room where the service was going to take place.  Afterwards, more college kids were hanging at the table.  We had a second chance and guess what? We avoided the table again.  hahah that wasn’t what you were expecting from someone who says they want community was it?  Yea I know.

So all last week I prayed about finding community, and the courage to introduce myself to people I didn’t know.   I told Kelsey Saturday night that I wanted to go back to Rivercross and she agreed that she wanted to go again too.  I think my roommate and I both want similar things in a church and we felt like Rivercross had a potential.  But if we were going to give any church a shot we had to stick around and try to really get to know the people.  A church after all is not a building but the group of people who worship together.

I told her this time we had to talk to people..somehow we just had to find a way to do it.  I also told her and we need to focus on talking to the girls at the church.  I naturally tend to associate with guys in unfamiliar settings.  I’m not sure why but it just feels like less pressure.  But what I’m wanting is community in the church and more specifically I want to connect with a group of girls that I can talk to, support and pray for and have them do the same for me. 

So yesterday came and we went back.  I’m happy to say that we didn’t avoid the muffin table this time :)  However, the people we were talking to were guys.  Exactly what I didn’t want to do…haha but there I was talking to the guys.  It was comfortable.  After church we went to bible study and sat next to the guys and continued chatting.  It was nice, they were nice…but still not what I had in mind.  After about 20 minutes everyone calmed down and they were about to begin when someone announced that they were going to do something out of the ordinary.  They split the girls from the guys for bible study.  I think God was listening :)  I had a great time with the girls chatting and getting to know them.  We didn’t go into anything too deep but it was nice.  The leaders of the bible study are a young couple.  They said that they weren’t sure about splitting the group and had talked about it Saturday night.  I’m so glad they decided to go ahead and do that.  It gave me just the push I needed :)

I think God was listening to Kelsey and I talk the night before and He laid it on the hearts of the couple to split the group.  He was answering my prayers.  Such a great feeling!  I’m looking forward to going to Rivercross again and getting to know everyone even more.  Making new friends makes me so happy.  Maybe thats why it was such a great day :)

I’m headed in the right direction.  Thank you Lord for your guidance.

Wow I didn't intend for this to go on and on...feeling a little wordy today haha

Compartmentalizing Faith

I think I have something of substance to say today so it’s probably going get lengthy.  But please hang in there with me; I think it’s important.  I recently went to a conference that put some things into perspective for me and I want to share it with you.  I don’t know how to start so I’m just going to jump on in.

Have you ever thought about what it means to be a well-rounded Christian?  I’ve been thinking about it a little lately.  To me it means not leaving Jesus to Sundays and the occasional Wednesday for Bible study.  It means expressing my faith in all aspects of my life.  As Christians we are supposed to surround ourselves with other Christians for support and biblical community.  That is something I’m seriously searching for these days but that’s a post for another time.  In addition to surrounding ourselves with believers we should also be surrounding ourselves with nonbelievers.  Where else is our light going to shine the brightest?  God wants us to love all people like He loves them. 

John 13:34-35

“A new command I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  Be this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

So to be a well-rounded Christian my faith needs to be present wherever I am present, not just on Sundays.  It’s true that as Americans we spend the majority of our time in the workplace.  So naturally our faith should be there too.  This can be kind of tricky.  You may ask how can I be a Christian in the workplace without others feeling like you’re attacking them?  Well that’s easy don’t attack and don’t push.   Just give your job 110%, care for your coworkers and stay positive.  Build your identity upon Christ.  They’ll see you’re a Christian.

God created us to do work and he created us to do it well.

Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

God calls us to our jobs along the lines of our gifts.  If you aren’t happy with your career, or don’t feel like you’re currently working where God wants you to, maybe start to consider your gifts.  Because we are human we think God’s thoughts after Him so it may take you few tries to land where you’ll be happiest.  However, no matter if you’re happy with your job or not, give your job 110%.  Work hard because that’s what we were created to do. 

Personal Tangent:

I overall love what I am doing in audiology.  I love interacting with the patients and helping them with their hearing concerns.  However, some days are more difficult than others.  I don’t always feel like I love my job when an older adult is extra grumpy or a child is too fidgety to get results.  One day I was helping program a child’s cochlear implant and it was the most stressful experience.  He wouldn’t sit still and kept disconnecting himself from the computer.  On top of that he was repeatedly throwing balls at my head instead of in the bucket when he heard a beep.  Let’s just say we were not able to obtain any useful test results that day.  I left feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.  Even though I left feeling this way it did not prevent me from working as hard as I could to get my job done.  Just because I had a bad experience with this child doesn’t mean I have bad experiences with every child.  I mean nothing is more rewarding than seeing the proud look on a brand new parent’s face when you tell them their newborn child passed their hearing screening.  Their child only a few hours old passed their first test, what a blessing!

I look at the kid with the cochlear implant as God’s challenge to me for that day :)  Kids may not be my favorite to work with in the audiology setting but that’s okay because it doesn’t keep me from loving them and wanting to play and care for them in other settings.

So far we have work hard.  Your work matters but what you do is not who you are.  Be careful to not identify yourself with your work.  If you base your identity on self worth and how successful you are at your job what happens when the economy crashes and you get laid off?  You lose your identity.  Not good.  Build your identity on rock not sand.  Build it on Christ.  My value is found in Christ.  He loved me before I ever knew him.  Be the unique person God meant for you to be and show it in the workplace.

In addition to working hard, care for your coworkers.  Get to know them, ask them how their day/week is going, ask if there is anything you could do for them (within your reach).  In the office, maybe you could stay after a meeting to help clean up. In a clinical setting, maybe take a few extra minutes to re-explain someone’s hearing loss to them so they really understand.  If you’re a stay at home mom or dad maybe at a play date, if you notice another parent looks exceptionally tired, offer to take the kids for a few hours to provide some much needed “me” time for that other parent.  These small acts of kindness are Christ like.   We do good works as a result of a relationship with God.  I don’t think you always have to tell someone you are a Christian for them to know that you are a Christian. 

You don’t have to go into work “preaching” to share God with others.  It’ll come out naturally in conversation.  I don’t invite everyone I talk to to church with me, but I can tell you the people I work with and go to school with all know that I go to church and they are welcome.

I’m working hard not to compartmentalize my walk with God.  I want to be well-rounded in my faith. And I'll end on this

1 Corinthians 10:31

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Australia 2012

Hey Everyone!  It's been a while.  Many of you know I recently returned from an amazing spring break in Australia.  It was a true blessing to have the opportunity to make the trip.  I had such a great time.  I was able to do so much in such a short period of time.  Thanks to our great hosts, Collins and Charlie, I think we accomplished everything on our list, which is hard to believe.  We went to Manly Beach, walked across the Harbour Bridge, touched the Opera House, pet a koala, explored Darling Harbour, relaxed on Bondi Beach and even had the time to appreciate the little things Sydney had to offer such as the parks.  I was even a slight adventurous eater.  I tasted a Crocodile burger and had lamb at a local Indian restaurant.  This was definitely out of the norm for me.  Sometimes it's nice to be out of your comfort zone.

While I was there I also had the opportunity to attend a service at the Hillsong Church in Sydney.  There were so many people there from all over.  The worship was very lively and a lot of fun.  It was so great to see so many people pumped up for God :)  I could never thank Him enough for the experiences I had in Sydney.  God is more than amazing.

Here is photo book I made of the trip.  I tried to put it in some kind of chronological order to try and tell a story.  I think it's safe to say we made some great memories on this trip that I'll never forget.  The best memories are the ones that last a lifetime.

Here is to lifetime memories:

Click here to view this photo book larger

Turn your favorite photos into a photo book at Shutterfly.com.

Finding Rest in a Restless Place

Ahhhh!! I can’t sleep. I feel so restless.  I’ve actually been feeling restless a lot lately.  I used to write in here when I couldn’t sleep at night so I’m giving it a shot.  Here’s to hoping not to fall asleep midsentence or maybe that is what I’m hoping for? I don’t know.   It seems like I don’t know a lot these days.  I don’t know what I want to wear, eat, go or how to spend my time.  I’m just plain restless, but why?

                                             

20 minutes later

I’m starting to feel the stress of the semester, so bad that I had a nightmare the other night about being scolded by a professor for not staying on top of my work. It’s ok to laugh haha its ridiculous I know. Not only am I questioning my decisions on time management but I’m questioning them in other areas of my life as well.  They haven’t been the wisest lately…. I don’t feel like I’m in the right place right now and I’m not talking about a physical place.  I don’t feel like I’m in the same place with God as I was lets just say last April to pick a time period.  Being human, I’m prone to wander and I’m afraid I’ve done just that.  No wonder I feel so restless! 

I think back to last spring and remember how at peace and lighter I felt. I want that again…now if only I could get there. I know I can..I just have to find rest.  Rest in the Lord.

So how do I rest in Him?  Well after thinking about it I think my way of resting in Him is to study His word and occasionally expressing my thoughts here or to a close friend.  In church this past week the pastor talked about finding a quiet or secret place to spend time in prayer with God.  This is something I think I could benefit from.  Just this quiet time I’ve had this evening has been nice.  No distractions just silence with the exception of the washing machine in the background but I can ignore that.  I feel slightly better already, oh the power of prayer. 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.   Matthew 11:28-29

Tonight I’m praying not to waver from God’s promises and to find rest in Him.  

Your prayers are also appreciated :)

New Years Resolution

Ok so everyone has a New Years Resolution right? Well maybe not.  My older sister asked me a few days before New Years what my resolution was going to be this year.  I had no idea, honestly I hadn't even thought about it.  I don't need to lose weight. I don't want to change my eating habits.  I don't smoke, so no need to quit.  I make good grades...I read my Bible...I could say I want to write more regularly in this blog but I don't think I could stick to it with my crazy schedule.  Why set myself up for failure? haha.  I just couldn't think of anything I really wanted to commit to changing until today.  My lovely roommate shared this blog post with me, I'm Christian, unless you're gay and I loved it and think it's important to share with you all.  I may or may not agree with everything said but I do think its underlying message is an important one, to love everyone especially the people you think its impossible to do so.

I sometimes struggle with this.  Not so much with loving people who are gay because I honestly do but I struggle with loving people who hurt me.  And I mean hurt me so bad that I can't stand the idea of even being around them.  I feel like whenever I'm in their presence I'm just brought down when I know I shouldn't be.  I don't know how I'm supposed to love them when this is how I feel with just the mention of their name but I'm going to work on it.  So my New Years Resolution is decided and it's not just a New Years Resolution but a Life Resolution to love others like Jesus loves me.  I'm going to work hard at opening up my heart and turing the exclusive group of people that I love into an all inclusive group.  This is a life long challenge that I think is worth all of us pursuing.