Eat Your Veggies Faithfully

This Sunday while sitting in church I was having some serious God moments. I can’t help but feel closer to the Lord when I’m surrounded by other followers worshiping just as I am. But I don’t have these God moments every week...God moments are times when I feel like He is talking directly to me or knocking on my door telling me to pay attention. These moments also don’t necessarily exclusively occur during church but this moment did. Even though Pastor JD was talking to everyone in the room I felt like God was specifically talking to me through him. As you all know (assuming you read my post before last) I’ve been struggling with control in my life, well throughout the week I’ve been praying and asking God to answer some of my questions on the subject and well He did through pastor JD’s sermon this week. I really wanted to make this post “Who’s in Control? 2.0” but I want to listen to the sermon again before writing my thoughts on it. I’m waiting for it to be posted to http://www.summitrdu.com/ (I’m providing the link in case you’re interested in listening before I have a chance to get my thoughts down).


So if this post isn’t “Who’s in Control? 2.0,” what is it? It’s on nutrition YAY!! No not yay...its another part of my life I constantly struggle with. I know your probably thinking “What is this girl’s problem? She looks fine” but its not that I’m overweight or underweight it’s what I’m consuming is just bad. Here is my typical diet:

Breakfast: Poptarts (chocolate, smores, or strawberry unfrosted), Orange juice (if its a good day and I’m not convinced its poisoning me)

Lunch: Peanut butter sandwich with nutella, chips—usually Doritos or salt and vinegar, string cheese, fiber one bar, fruit snacks (has to be the walmart brand)

Dinner: What’s that?

It’s bad...I’m not sure what kind of nutritional content I get from those things but it isn’t much and probably explains why my immune system hates me. I’ve gotten especially terrible with Dinner..I’ll feel hungry and I’ll make something but after cooking I just don’t feel like eating so I put it in the refrigerator for a day that never comes. It’s almost like I fill up on the smell...yeah I’m crazy and I know its not true because a few hours later I’ll eat something high in sugar or carbs (airheads, m&ms, cookies, or more chips) to settle my stomach enough to sleep.

I have very little variety in my diet...its sad the biggest variety lies with what flavor pop tart I choose or if I decide to go with grape jelly instead of nutella.  I'm so incredibly picky when it comes to food.  I eat like a 3 year old..it has to be normal in texture, plain, and sweet to taste. 

Certain people in my life feel the need to constantly tell me I don’t eat right and I hate hearing all of the lectures...that might be why when I go to the doctors I skip the nutrition section of the paperwork. I just don’t want to hear it.

So what makes me want to change now? While browsing the bookstore the other day (I do this often for fun especially if they have a coffee shop) I came across this book called “Food, Fitness, and Faith for Women.” I picked it up because I haven’t thought about what my health means to God. If I want to live my life Christ-like then I need to do it in all areas of my life including taking care of myself.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
1 Corithians 6: 19-20

I’ve been quite familiar with this verse for some time now but I’ve always read it as God saying do not sin against your own body with sexual sin. Pretty much no sex until marriage! Ok got it...but I never considered eating crappy is also dishonoring my body aka God’s temple. Its not all the nagging from friends and family that make me want to change my diet but its the realization that I'm dishonoring God.
With God’s help I can do this! It started last night with instead of skipping dinner, which I would have been fine doing, I made chicken fajitas and I actually ate one! I also had some whole grain tortilla chips...yes thats right...brown chips...haha and to my surprise they actually tasted good and they’re better for me than they regular chips. Today for lunch instead of my usual peanut butter and nutella sandwich I’m having a turkey and salami sandwich on whole grain oatmeal bread...hopefully I’ll like it and if I don't I pray I'll grow to like it.  I’m still eating my usual junk with my sandwich haha but baby steps right?? I’m going to get better :) I'm determined to eat healthier faithfully.

Well thats all for now...be on the look out for Control 2.0. I’m going on vacation this week but I haven’t decided if that means I’ll take a vacation from the blog as well. A long road trip might be conducive to thinking and writing. Pray for safe travels for my sister and I as we make our way to NY :)

Just for fun--Not a typical Post

Trying to find a distraction...and this is what I came across.  Not my typical post...just something to do.  I really like "..." ....  Also, before I start did you know I graduated from Carolina and still don't fully understand how to use a comma...haha  Thank God for friends who edit my papers!

1. What time did you get up this morning?
5:45am . For those of you who work with me you know I hardly ever make it to work on time. So in order to make it in by 8 instead of 8:10 I met a coworker for coffee at 7. Yay for being responsible and making it to work on time!!


2. How do you like your steak?
I like it pink...not red


3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I saw Something Borrowed with Cait a few weeks ago. It was pretty good.

3a.  Favorite Movie?
Probably Benny and Joon


4. What is your favorite TV show?
Easiest question ever....Desperate Housewives. So many life lessons to be learned from that show!



5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Somewhere warm.  I'm always cold.



6. What did you have for breakfast?
Iced Chai Tea Latte and a piece of chocolate chip banana nut bread from Starbucks. Yum!



7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Hmmm...thats difficult...American?? I’m not really sure




8. What foods do you dislike?
Oh don’t get me started....eggs, strawberries, beets, carrots, apples, spaghetti w/long noodles..pretty much anything healthy



9. Favorite Place to Eat?
I like Noodles and Chipotle



10. Favorite dressing?
Toss up between Ranch, Ceasar, and Italian...it depends on my mood




11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
A tinkerbell car? Chevy Cavalier aka (bumper car)



12. What are your favorite clothes?
Dressy stuff especially shirts with ruffles

12a. Favorite Disney character?
If you do not know the answer to this...we are not friends. Just sayin.



13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Austrailia, New Zealand, Ireland...somewhere in the Carribean.  I enjoy traveling.



14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Depends on my mood  and situation but I’d like to think I’m a ½ full kind of girl :)



15. Where would you want to retire?
Chapel Hill, NC....I like it here haha but who knows I may end up liking Fl better



16. Favorite time of day?
Morning...its when I’m most functional



17. Where were you born?
Jacksonville, North Carolina.



18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Competitive cheerleading and UNC Basketball of course

(Questions 19-21 were either irrelevant or stupid so I chose not to include them)



22. Are you a morning person?
I think so.



23. Are you a leader or a follower?
Leader in Society, Follower of the Lord :)



24. Do you have any pets?
Kringle, he’s my cat...but he hates me...go figure



25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
I share most of my current events in my blog...nothing too exciting right now. Excited for August to hurry up and get here. I’ve never wanted to rush a summer more than I do now.



26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A veterinarian or teacher.  Typical.  A guy at work told me he wanted to be a Janitor....who picks that as a kid?



27. What is your best childhood memory?
Playing silly games like hotel or hobo...yes I used to like to pretend I was homeless. Hahaha it was fun to build forts and stuff outside



28. Are you a cat or dog person?
Cats but I like small dogs too



29. Are you married?
No..



30. Always wear your seat belt?
ALWAYS. I won’t ride in anything with them. Well besides the bus but thats the only exception



31. Been in a car accident?
Hahahaa umm a few...have I mentioned that I’m a horrible driver?



32. Any pet peeves?
Dirty kitchen, confusing the difference between “to” and “too”



33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Pepperoni and jalapeño


34. Favorite Flower?
Pink roses



35. Favorite ice cream?
Half baked....mmm



36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
These questions are boring me.



37. How many times did you fail your drivers license test?
I bet you can guess...yes I failed the driving part once. I still can’t back up in a straight line.



38. From whom did you get your last email?
My mom or UF...I’m not sure. They both tend to flood my email box ;)



39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Express or Apple



40. Done anything spontaneous lately?
No. I need help in this area of my life. I have to plan for everything, its rather daunting.



41. Like your job?
LOVE my job at Disney and Walgreens is okay too I guess...but love love Disney :)




42. Broccoli?
With cheese please



43. What was your favorite vacation?
I enjoy our time share in Atlantic Beach. Two things I like to do most during the summer are reading and tanning.  I’m sad I’ll be missing out this year. 



44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Chris, Collins, and Justin...5 visits to food places in a single day..it may be a record for me



45. What are you listening to right now?
Made to Worship by Chris Tomlin is playing on my Pandora currently



46. What is your favorite color?
Pink!!



47. How many tattoos do you have?
One


48 is another silly question I’ll be skipping



49. Coffee Drinker?
On occasion but I prefer diet pepsi



50. What time did you finish this quiz?
12:00 am...yes exactly

Who's in control?

Now that I’ve finished my puzzle I’m back to blogging more frequently. You know you’ve missed me ;) and if you haven’t well then I guess send me another puzzle? Haha

The other day at work they called me Napoleon insinuating that I have a “Napoleon complex” or control issues. I must confess I can be controlling at times. I’m thankful that I’m friends with my coworkers and know that they love me or I’d be afraid they disliked me for my control issues. I’ve never really liked group work either. I always felt obligated to do most of the work as I couldn’t control the effort my fellow group members put into the project at stake. It sounds bad but it’s true. I think I might find some security in being in control I’m not sure...all I know is I don’t like it when I don’t feel in control. I’m telling you all this because I’m not okay with it. I don’t like being called Napoleon even if it is a joke, it makes me sad. But at the same time I’m glad it came up because it made me think of who is in control of my life...me or God.

Life is a road of trials and tribulations that are only manageable when God is in the driver seat. If we do not give Him the wheel we are bound to crash.

Some people say we make our own life choices and then God blesses them but what if God makes choices for us and we are supposed to choose and carry out those choices? How do I know that I’m giving Him control and making the right choices now? I can’t see what He sees. This is where a lot of my uncertainty lies...

How do I know that I’ve chosen the right career path? What if somewhere along the way my “control issues” interfered with God’s plan? I’m nervous that once I start classes that it’ll be too difficult. I’m afraid I might fail because it’s not what He had chosen for me but what I chose for myself.

Not giving God control explains all of my failed attempts to find a good guy. Every time I think I’ve found someone great they turn out not to be so great. Or at least not great for me. I probably wouldn’t have gotten so close to them if I would have given God the wheel for 5 minutes. How will I know if the next guy I fall for is in God’s plan for Samantha or in my plan for Samantha?

We are supposed to give total control to our Lord as He knows us better than we know ourselves and only His way is the perfect way. When we interfere and take control we are left with the feeling “What am I doing wrong?” because no matter what we do nothing seems to work out right. I think I’ve said this before, but what I think is best for me may not be what He KNOWS is best for me. I’m afraid I haven’t given Him total control...I want to but not sure how. How do you know when you’ve given total control to Him? Although I wish it could, I don’t think this question can be answered in a “How to follow God for Dummies” kind of book. Haha... I know there is no formulaic answer to this question but if you have some insight please speak up.

Dear Lord, Please teach me how to give you control of the wheel that is my life. Everyone knows that I’m a bad driver and I’m tired of crashing into things...Amen

Here Goes Nothing

I’m meeting a friend for coffee in exactly 7 hrs and 56 minutes so I better make this quick. I want some sleep before then.


Here Goes (click here to listen)  Right click to open in new tab/window

“Never got anywhere by running away
Never learned anything without a mistake
Never loved anyone by playing it safe
It's a long way down, but I'm here right now...so
Here goes nothing, here goes everything
Gotta reach for something or you'll fall for anything
Take a breath, take a step, what comes next God only knows
But here goes

I don't wanna turn around and wonder what happened
Never lost and never found are one in the same
I wanna run across the battle lines and take my chances
Not the long way 'round when I'm here right now...so

Here goes nothing, here goes everything
Gotta reach for something or you'll fall for anything
Take a breath, take a step, what comes next God only knows
But here goes
What good is chance not taken?
What good is life not living ?
What good is love not given?
Here goes nothing, here goes everything
Gotta reach for something or you'll fall for anything”



Sometimes my posts are about Disney, sometimes they are about faith, sometimes they’re like diary entries, and some, for example this one, are based on songs. The song Here Goes by Bebo Norman has been my theme song lately.

Today at work I was playing with a “Magic UNC Ball” it’s very similar to a Magic 8 ball and was wondering what it would be like to live my life by a Magic ball. I thought about trying it out for a few days... you know shaking the ball before making any decision and doing what it says.  Living a life by 100% chance via a Magic 8 ball is irrational and would probably turn disastrous.

Me: “Should I go to work today?”...ball: “my reply is no”—outcome: lose my job.

Me: “Is it acceptable to not shower today?”...ball: “yes, definitely”---outcome: I’ll smell bad.

Me: “Is it okay to act irrationally?” Ball: “Cannot predict now”---outcome: that doesn’t tell me anything *shake again for better answer*

I forgot where I was going with this...or maybe I’m not sure where I’m going with this...

We’re supposed to use our brains to make logical decisions to avoid making stupid ones, but isn’t it okay to be irrational at times? I feel like if everyone acted rationally all of the time this would be a boring world. We need to take chances...step out of the comfort zone. However, we shouldn’t live our lives completely on chance like a magic 8 ball but instead take calculated risks. Risks were willing to accept the outcome no matter what happens..good or bad, easy or difficult. Sometimes I wish I could see my life the way God does...then I’d be more certain about the future and more certain about the decisions I’m making now. But I can’t, so I have to take chances..take risks...calculated risks. Most times rational decisions are the best ones however on occasion irrational ones turn out to be okay too...If we don’t take a chance we might miss what we’re looking for...

Here goes nothing...

Fire in Apartment 1101

Now that I’m clean, my feet no longer look like a true tar heel and I don’t reek of smoke....Let me tell you about my night. 

Last night I was supposed to head to charlotte so I could spend today at Carrowinds with my sister.  For some reason I decided not to go last night.  I had no real excuse I just didn’t feel like driving so I planned to wake early this morning and drive up.   I ate dinner (cottage cheese and cold pasta) around 9pm and then cleaned the kitchen.  I took apart the burners and really scrubbed the stove because it had gotten really messy during the week.  I didn’t bother replacing the burners because I wanted everything to dry out.  I locked the door but not the top latch as my roommate said she’d be out late with friends and then went to bed.

At around 1:30am I woke to the sound of the smoke detector going off.  At first I didn’t think much of it because it’s pretty sensitive and goes off often when we cook.  I got out of bed to see if she needed help shutting it off, I was tired and just wanted to get back to sleep as I was going to be getting up in a few hours to drive to Charlotte.  However, when I opened my door I felt heat and saw nothing but black smoke and bright orange light coming from the kitchen which is located right next to my bedroom.  I panicked. I couldn’t think and didn’t know what to do.  I couldn’t tell if the fire started in my apartment, I couldn’t see exactly where it was and I didn’t know if my roommate was home.  Talk about being scared...it was the most scared I’ve been in my entire life.  I went back into my room ran in a few circles grabbed my phone and ran out of the apartment.

I immediately called 911, I had difficulty telling the operator where I lived.  I guess I was in shock because after I finally got out the address he asked me which apartment and all I could come up with was “the one that’s on fire!”  I finally was able to provide my apartment number and asked them to hurry.  I then called my mom asked her not to panic that my apartment was on fire but I was ok...don’t tell your parents this...they just ask too many questions you don’t have the answers to haha.  I told her I had to go, I couldn’t think.  I was the first one out of the building and it felt like forever before everyone else started emerging from their apartments. I stood out in the rain in my night shirt and just prayed as hard as I could.  I was so anxious to see everyone get out safely.  I still didn’t know where my roommate was...I tried calling her name and her phone, no answer.

The fire department responded probably within 10 minutes they went in and pulled my roommate from her room.  Can you believe she slept through the whole thing?!  Thank God I was there to call 911.  Evidently when my roommate got home she cooked some chicken tenders and French fries.  When the chicken was done the fries were still a little soggy so she went to her room to eat the chicken while the fries cooked a little longer and fell asleep.  The fries were left cooking on the stove and caught fire.  The firefighters said the sprinkler system kept the fire from spreading from the kitchen and had the fire practically out when they got there.  Thank you Lord for sprinklers.  The chief said that system probably saved our lives.

Last night for the first time I felt Jesus holding me.  I knew He was there and He was going to make sure I stayed safe.  I felt His comfort.  The firefighters said that out of all of the buildings in my entire apartment complex my building is the only one with a sprinkler system.  That’s because 10 years ago there was a similar fire and someone died.  As a result all new buildings being built or remodeled were mandated to have a sprinkler system.  Because my building had to be rebuilt because of the fire it now has sprinklers.  Is it luck that I live in the ONLY building on property with a sprinkler system?  No that was Jesus watching over me.  I can’t help but think what would have happened if I would have went to Charlotte last night...would my roommate still be here?  The fire would have probably still been put out by the sprinklers but would she have suffocated from smoke in her sleep?  I think I unintentionally heard a whisper from God to stay home last night.   I didn't save anyone but He did.  I’m so glad everyone is ok and everything destroyed can be replaced.  I may be a little homeless right now but my situation is only temporary.  I’m in a nice hotel right now and the management of my apartment complex are great and are working on finding me a new place to live.  I’m very grateful and feel more than blessed today :)

My roommate and I don't always see eye to eye but I still care about her.  She struggles with more than what an average 18 year old should.  Maybe this was God’s way of intervening in her life..He has a plan for everyone.  Around 4am we were able to get in the apartment to grab some things...I could tell my roommate was really upset.  I gave her a hug and told her it’s going to be ok..I’m not mad.  It was an accident and we’ll get through this.  I think she started to feel a little better.  As we hugged bye for the night I said “Hey” she said “yea?”....I looked at her and smiled “I think your fries are done.”  After all that happened we ended our terrifying night with a smile.

Thank you for all of your phone calls, texts and prayers.  They are appreciated.  And thank you to the Chapel Hill Fire and Police department,  I don’t know what I’d do without you.  And thank you Chapel View Apartment management for trying to accommodate me the best you can during this time.

God is more than Good, He is Awesome!

http://www.chapelboro.com/Structure-Fire-In-Chapel-Hill---10-000-Estimated-D/9969604

Verbal Foreplay

If you’re a regular to my blog you already know that my posts are a reflection of what’s resting on my heart. So naturally at times the posts come across as very “Dear Diary”...if you don’t like these “Dear Diary” type posts let this be a warning to you to skip reading this one and select a different one.


Every time I feel like there is nothing else to write about and I’m done posting to this silly blog, God throws me another loop teaching me yet another lesson, a lesson I can’t help but share. Over the past week and a half, I’ve grown strangely close to someone, someone who was only a stranger 2 weeks ago. I only call it strange because I haven’t gotten so close to someone so quickly before...or have I? Ok I’m done talking in circles...I’ll get to the point now.

So I met this guy..hahaha I met him on route to church via a friend...he rode with us. During this 30 minute or so ride, my friend asked about a situation I had been struggling with and as I was talking about the situation I began to explain it to the guy in the backseat who was listening. I asked him for his opinion from a guys perspective and then we went to church. We didn’t talk about it again until the next week when we went to church again but this time without the mutual friend. On the car ride home, our conversation expanded to other topics and not very light topics but more like life discussions. I poured out my personal thoughts over a period of several hours. I realize now that this probably wasn’t the best idea but at the time I didn’t see the harm. I needed someone to talk to and he was there to listen. I felt comfortable talking with him, it was easy. I can confidently say by the end of the day I felt more attracted to him than I did before all of the talking but that still didn’t prepare me for what he had to say at the end of it all. As we were saying goodbye he said something like “I don’t know what you’re thinking but we should stay friends.” This threw me off completely...I didn’t know what to say...I hadn’t consciously thought that I might be falling for this guy. I hardly knew him..I was just telling him about some things I was struggling with. At that point I hadn’t even thought about wanting to date him...I thought he was strange for saying such a thing.

Well after thinking about it...he was smart...he was only guarding his heart--Protecting him and myself from falling for each other after so much emotional sharing. But how did he know to say this? I can’t be sure but I think he’s probably been in this situation before. This is why girls and guys can’t be friends or at least friends in a way that girls and girls can be. When a guy and a girl have these intimate and emotional discussions they become closer. And it’s not a closer friendship that would develop between two girls but they become closer intimately. I read somewhere that this emotional sharing is like “verbal foreplay.” Let me put it this way 2 girls aren’t going to want to hook up after sharing intimately but when a guy and girl do this, well...you know. Yikes! It causes you to want to be closer to this person. It gives you this pseudo-relationship feeling—this explains wanting to date someone you’ve only known a short time or someone you might not have been attracted to in the first place.

If I’m going to wait for the “right” guy than I have got avoid this “verbal foreplay”. Everything I was feeling and talking about was fine to share (no deep dark secrets or anything) but it would have better been shared with not him but another girl.  Lord, please help me find more girl friends. 

Because of all of this sharing I don’t think I’ll be able to stay “just friends” like he asked...we tried hanging out again and feelings only escalated between the two of us. Too many emotions—sucks being a girl sometimes. However, we might be able to be friendly acquaintances; he really is a great guy with a nice heart. I’ll just have to be more careful with my words next time.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”—Proverbs 4:23

One day He is coming

May 21, 2011
Today I received a text message from someone asking, “So is the world ending tomorrow?” My answer...No.


Tomorrow is May 21, 2011..some people are calling it Judgement Day. They believe that tomorrow will be the beginning of the end of the world. They are saying that at 6pm the rapture will occur (saved people being called to Christ) and the world will end 5 months later destroying everyone who is not called upon. Do I believe any of this? No.

Here is why:

Think about it...this isn’t the first time somebody has predicted the world was going to end? The same guy who predicted this Judgment Day predicted it would happen back in 1994. Did the world end? No. Aren’t we still here? Yes.

I do believe that one day Christ will return for us but I don’t believe that day is tomorrow. No one knows when the coming of the Kingdom will take place. It will be sudden and unexpected. It isn’t a day that can be calculated. I think it’s embarrassing that people even try to do this. We as Christians are supposed to be patient while living our lives with a sense of readiness. Don’t waste your time calculating a day for Christ’s return.

Lets just say Jesus was supposed to return to Earth tomorrow (I suppose it's possible)...now that people have predicted it be on this particular day I think He would not come just for the reason of prediction. I imagine it like this.. Jesus is supposed to take a business trip to Earth (it couldn’t be a vacation because what’s better than His Kingdom? Nothing). His plans are to bring all of the saved people to God’s Kingdom and He was ready to come...He had his bags packed...but then somebody came along and ruined it. They predicted His return. I think Jesus would be upset that we weren’t patient and would reschedule His business trip. Doesn’t that stink?

All of this prediction stuff is stupid. The coming of God’s Kingdom will come in God’s timing not ours. We do not know more than He and we never will.

All of this hype on Judgment Day is bringing out the crazy in people. I was telling a friend at dinner the other night about this guy who keeps coming into Walgreens professing his love for everyone in the store. He claims to be Jesus reincarnated. When he is telling me all of these crazy coincidences that proves He is Jesus I try not to stare at him with a judgmental look...but that’s difficult...I think he’s crazy. This guy has come into the store several times trying to convince myself and everyone else he is in fact Jesus. When our LORD does come back for us...He will not have to convince us of who He is with all of these crazy stories. We will know. He could just walk into the room and say “I AM” and we’d know. No convincing needed.

I’m sorry this post has been a bit of a rant.

Living He loved me, dying He saved me, buried He carried my sins far away, rising he justified freely forever..One day He is coming, Oh glorious day...what a glorious day it will be. Are you ready?