More Like Falling in Love

“Give me rules, I will break them
Show me lines, I will cross them

I need more than a truth to believe

Give me words, I’ll misuse them
Obligations, I’ll misplace them
‘Cause all religion ever made of me
Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
It never set me free. It’s gotta be

More like falling in love than something to believe in
More like losing my heart than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out, come take a look at me now
It’s like I’m falling in love”



I LOVE this song by Jason Gray because I can relate. I grew up going to church every Sunday but to be honest with you it felt more like a chore than anything else. I remember just wanting to go for the breakfast my mom would buy me afterwards. It felt like a chore because I never really listened. I remember poking and pinching my sister throughout the service and using the worship guide as a doodle book. After Sunday passed I tried to ignore God until the next Sunday or the occasional Wednesday night bible study. I know; I was awful! I was spoon-fed what was right and what was wrong..how to be a good Christian and what made a bad Christian. I never got into any trouble growing up. I had religion but I wasn’t holding hands with Jesus.



It wasn’t until my early college years did I really start listening and enjoying going to church. But even then I didn’t go or worship God as often as I wish I would have. I don’t know what my deal was...I was either too lazy or too scared to find a church to worship in at UNC. When I did go to the occasional service back home I’d cry through the majority of it because I didn’t understand how I could be good enough for such a great God. I didn’t feel like I deserved to be there. I liked going to church but it was painful. I prayed and prayed for it to get easier and guess what?



It got easier. This past year I fell in love with God and I’m only falling deeper and deeper in love with each given day. I don’t know how to explain it to you other than to say when I catch myself falling in love with a guy, I want nothing more than to spend all my free time with him and I don’t want to let go..especially if I think he’s a keeper. Well I’m currently in this situation with God but the only difference is I know he’ll never let go of me. There truly is no greater love. I still cry often in church but its not for the same reason. I now realize that I am deserving of such a great God and he doesn’t expect me to be perfect. Before Jesus died on the cross he said “Tetelestai” meaning “it is finished.” What Jesus did on the Cross bought and paid for my sin. Because of him I am fully forgiven and fully accepted. I am deserving. So if you look over and see me crying in church do not feel bad and do not worry because these are tears of joy. I am beyond grateful and just praising God and his son Jesus Christ. I’m currently the happiest I’ve been in a long time. A load has risen from my chest and my steps are lighter as I walk holding hands with God. I have a lot to look forward to in the near future with a new chapter in my book of life. I can’t wait to be back in school, meet new people and face the challenges God has in store for me head on.



Like I said earlier I am falling deeper and deeper in love with God and am acting as a sponge in church and everyday life...soaking it all in...I can’t get enough. However, a sponge can only take it so much before it has to ring itself out. I don’t have many friends that I talk about this stuff with so I’ve decided I’ll write about it occasionally. You my readers, whoever you are, can take from it what you’d like but I think this is more for me. This will be my outlet to let it all ring out :)

Today I know I’m blessed.

Sorry for another long one...I'll try to make the next one short.