Thursday, April 28, 2011

Royal Wedding

The Royal Wedding is all over the news. It’s almost impossible to avoid. Why are so many girls obsessed with this wedding? With all of this talk about Kate’s dress, the food, the flowers, the wedding bands, how cute they look together know it’s an obsession with a fairytale wedding. Every little girl grows up wanting to be a princess and dreaming of their wedding day. A few years ago I had everything picked out, from my wedding dress, to the flowers all the way down to the cake topper, all before I was ever even engaged. I share this because I know I’m not alone. A lot of girls fantasize about these things and they also fantasize about the man they will marry. Some girls start fantasizing about their wedding on a first date.

I’m going out on a limb here and risk being criticized for this...but I’m going to say it anyways. I’ve had a change of heart and I think this fantasizing is wrong. It is rushing God’s timing for us. For those dating or in relationships, fantasizing about a wedding before an engagement is focusing on a future potential of a relationship rather than the growing of a present relationship. And for those who are single like myself, instead of planning your wedding day you should be spending your time carefully thinking about the kind of person you want to marry. And don’t hunt for them but wait for God to deliver them to you. I myself struggle with this so I’ve spent the past few days declining princess party invitations to watch the royal wedding and thinking about what I want in my “prince charming” and in a relationship. And not so shocking...what I want now is NOT what I wanted even a year ago.

A year ago, it was all about me. I wanted to be the center of attention...when in a relationship I wanted everything the guy did to be done for me. Not only did I want him to be cute, funny, and nice I wanted him to do anything I said the moment I said it. My parents always told me it’d take a very special guy to be with me. I preferred that the guys I dated not work so when I wanted to hang out he’d be free. It makes my stomach churn writing about it, but it’s true, that’s how I worked. I don’t think I could have been anymore selfish. Well that was the old me, as mentioned in a previous post (Pearl Necklace) I have confessed I was selfish and have asked for forgiveness and now the new me is headed in the opposite direction. I’m raising my standards.

So what does my “prince” look like? Well I don’t know I haven’t met him yet. But I can tell you what I want his inside to look like. These aren’t in any particular order...I’m just rambling them out.

1. Jesus should be number one in his life. I am not the top priority nor do I want to be. And I want to be able to see that Jesus comes first without asking.

2. He won’t rush God’s timing. If I’m going to wait, he should wait to..its the right way to develop a healthy relationship. He won’t be impulsive but patient.

3. Understands emotions and feelings. I am a super emotional girl and I want a guy who can be gentle, kind, compassionate, and sensitive.

4. Avoids temptations and morally sound. I want to do the right thing, and want him to want the same.

5. He should be willing to talk about faith with me. I like talking and have more to talk about than how my day went and current events

6. Want to have a job.... hahaha I know my mom is shouting “finally!” I don’t want to be on top of the guy I date anymore. I need my own quiet time and so does he.

I am complete in Jesus therefore do not need a guy to complete me but to complement me.

I told you I was raising my standards :) It almost seems like this guy couldn’t possibly exist. But I know in my heart God has a perfect plan for me.  I might have to wait 10 years but that is ok because while single I have more time for devotion.  Along with joy, family brings chaos.

I shouldn’t think of my wedding day until I am engaged, not before. For me, the one who bought a million books on weddings and used to be obsessed with everything wedding; not dreaming of my wedding day and the man I’ll marry is a difficult challenge. At this point in time I think watching the royal wedding will only hurt my efforts, so I’ll avoid it for now.

If it is in His plan, I’ll one day have a royal wedding of my own. Until then I’m raising my standards, guarding my heart, and leaving the rest to God :)



Elizabeth Cardella said...

haha, I have pretty much the same list (with a few extras), and I know exactly what you're talking about. :) It's good to know someone else thinks the same about all this stuff!

Tap said...

Two thoughts:

1. The biggest danger of this fantasy is thinking a wedding is your happy ending. What happens once you realize you married someone as human as yourself?

2. If your whole life is oriented around your wedding day, what are you going to do the day after? Start scheming about how to relive it?

Samantha said...

I agree with you it's unrealistic to look at a wedding as a happy ending it'd be better viewed as a happy beginning. The man I wish to marry will be faithful though flawed making him just as human as I am. Marriage wont be easy but I think worth it :) that is if it's even in His plan for me.

Post a Comment